


Someone to Watch Over Me

by Aiyana4969



Category: Stargate - All Series, Stargate SG-1
Genre: Angst, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Romance, major charecter death: sort of, tragedy:temporary
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-06-26
Updated: 2013-11-11
Packaged: 2017-11-08 16:50:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 23,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/445364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aiyana4969/pseuds/Aiyana4969
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After tragedy Daniel is distraught and keeps feeling things, seeing things that are impossible. No one believes him except the woman of his 'dreams'. Tradgedy, hurt, comfort, angst, romance. *Sam/Daniel* T for now, may increase. Mostly Sam centric, first few chapters are tragic.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: I own nothing, this is just for fun and my own amusement.
> 
> Warnings: Not all things are as they seem. A lot of hurt, angst but it gets better and ends in romance. Hints of Sam/Teal’c from their time aboard the Odyssey but it’s subtle, this is most definitely a Sam/Daniel story.
> 
> Life can interfere in a big way around here, while I try to update quickly there can be times where weeks or months go by without an update, I just wanted to warn you ‘just in case’.

Chapter 1:

Her gut ascended to her throat and her heart pounded loudly as the ground all too rapidly came into focus. Even with dampeners, what she could salvage of the engines, and a prayer to whoever may be watching over her, she was descending too fast.

Her eyes widened as she instinctively braced for impact despite knowing it would do no good; Sam was a physicist after all and knew she wouldn’t survive this.

With an Earth-shattering bang and a cringe-worthy sound of twisting metal, her 302 slammed into the ground.

………

Pain. Searing, blinding pain. Everywhere.

Breathing was only an automatic function at that point. All Sam knew was pain. A thousand spiked probes impacted her brain; her body convulsed with electricity and fire, the air in her lungs a toxic acid. This was what she felt. The agonizing torture of Hell for all she failed to do, for all she failed to save, for all the lives she had taken. The fires of Natu were sweet honey compared to her current fate. Heaven had no spot for her after all. The bitterness of it tasted like copper on her tongue.

Copper... Her mind reached out to it, focused on it. Copper. The word, the taste a tantalizing puzzle that teased from the recesses of her mind. Copper. Bitter, like touching your tongue to a battery. Electricity. Energy. ‘Where was it?’ Where was the thought she needed? Life. Blood.

Not copper. Blood. Life… The thought hung in the haze of her mind. 

Life.

She was alive.

She grasped at the thought like a buoy in a storm. She was alive! She was breathing. Breathing. ‘Breathing was good?’ ‘Yes. Breathing was good.’

‘Open your eyes Sam.’ ‘Sam…’ Confusion. ‘Sam?’ ‘ My name?’ ‘Yes.’ ‘Open your eyes.’

Blurred shapes and colors invaded her mind, along with a reaquantance to the pain in her head. She groaned, the action alerting her to yet more pain, more injury.

Her eyes started to focus. Where was she? And why did she hurt so much?

Taking in the sights around her; twisted metal, broken controls and displays, and occasional sparks at the edge of her vision.

Her sense of smell kicked in; smoke, burning electronics.

One thought entered her mind. ‘Get out.’ The thought consumed her. ‘Get out!’

Despite the protests of her entire body, she began to move. Somewhere in her mind she recognized broken bones; ribs, clavicle, an arm and a leg; a punctured lung and her teeth rattled like they had been shaken loose. All of that was on a subconscious level, the only conscious thought she had was ‘get out.’

……


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorrry, I can't seem to figure out rich text on this site. I'm not very technically inclined. If it's not making sense to you, try reading it at fanfiction.net Don't get me wrong I adore AO3 I just haven't figured out how to use it yet.

Chapter 2

…………….

 

Daniel groaned. His head hurt and he was freezing. He took in the sight before him. He was in a coffin, a space coffin. Or at least the backseat of a 302 drifting in space felt like it. He rubbed his face and winced at a sting on his forehead. He pulled his hand back to look it at. Blood. ‘Just great.’ He muttered inwardly.

”Cam?” he croaked.

No answer.

 

“Cam!” he yelled finding a strength to his voice he didn’t think he’d have.

An answering groan came from the seat in front of him. 

“Five more minutes.” Cam mumbled.

Daniel shook his head to clear the fog but instantly regretted it. After the swimming sensation subsided he called out to Cam, “Cam, you need to see if this thing will still fly.”

 

After a string of muttered curses, the back of Cam’s head came into view above the front seat. “Alright, alright. I’m on it.”

Cam flicked at switches and pressed buttons. “Yeah, we took quite a hit. Looks like all systems are functioning, some just barely, like life support. But she should still fly.”

 

“That’s good. But what about communications?”

 

“Yep. They’re good.”

“Then how about we radio Sam and Teal’c, make sure they are alright as well?”

Cam didn’t answer, just hit the com link. “Sam? Teal’c? Vala? You guys alright?”

Silence.

“Sam. Teal’c. It’s Cam, do you read me?”

Again silence. 

A feeling of dread was settling in the pit of Daniel’s stomach but he pushed it aside. It was likely their coms were just scrambled. Suddenly a flash of memory hit Daniel.

………

**“Move. Move, move!” Cam yelled as they ran to the 302 bay. As they approached the 302’s, Daniel tripped and was hauled to his feet by Cam who shoved him in the direction of the closest 302. Daniel scrambled up into the passenger seat as Cam landed in the pilot’s seat. Vala had taken the backseat to Teal’c and Sam was closing the top to her own 302.**

“Punch it!” Cam commanded. Daniel didn’t have time to brace for the sudden acceleration and his head snapped back and plastered to the seat.

First Cam and Daniel, then Teal’c and Vala and finally Sam emerged from the crippled Deadalus class ship moment before it exploded. They were all caught in the blast.

****

Daniel remembered flashes of things. Blood trickling down his face, the squelch of the radio. Sam’s voice.

‘What did she say?’ He tried to drag the memory out of his mind, tried to focus on it. For a moment it alluded him. His eyes opened wider in terror as her words came back to him.

**‘This is Carter can anyone read?’ ‘If you can hear me my ship’s been badly damaged and I’m in a decaying orbit around the planet. I’m going to see if I can bring engines back online.’**

**The next communication had come moments later.**

**‘If anyone can read me, I got engines partially online running intermittently, but it’s no use I’m falling fast. Estimate impact in five minutes.’ He remembered blackness surrounding him as he lost consciousness. The last time he heard Sam’s voice she said, ‘Mayday, mayday, mayday, I’m going in. I repeat, I’m going in. Shit!’**

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

“Cam!” Daniel yelled.

 

“Jackson! I have the worst hangover ever. Keep the noise level down will ya while I get my head screwed on straight?”

“Cam, Sam crashed on the planet.”

Confusion washed over Cam’s features even though no one could see them. “What? How the hell do you know?”

Daniel’s face was anguished, but he wouldn’t give up hope that she survived the crash. “I heard her Mayday over the radio before I passed out. Her ship was damaged and she was in a decaying orbit around the planet.”

Cam’s heart rate sped up. He knew all too well what a crash like that will do to a person. He hit the comlink again. “Sam! Sam! Do you read me?” Silence. “Teal’c!” he tried. Nothing.

 

Just then another 302 appeared in front of them, Teal’c at the helm. Teal’c pantomimed that his radio was down.

“Have you seen Sam?” Cam asked.

The Jaffa shook his head.

“Jackson believes she crashed on the planet. Are you able to land?”

A nod. 

“Good, We’ll do a surface scan and see if we can find her.” “You land near the gate and see if the crew is still there.”

Teal’c signaled his approval and moved off. Cam did likewise.

………..


	3. Chapter 3

**A/Ramble:  Ok this chapter seems very Sam/Teal’c shippy but it has a purpose and by the end it gets a little Sam/Daniel shippy, so hang in there ;oD**

**….**

 

Sam had no concept of time.  How long it took her to climb to the edge of what remained of the cockpit she did not know, nor did she care.  She shifted her weight and fell to the ground below, her body hitting like dead weight.  Pain flooded her senses with mind-numbing ferocity.  Blackness creaped into her vision threatening to claim her; it lapped at her consciousness like waves kissing the shore before finally retreating like the tide.

………………………………………………………………………………………

A lone figure watched helplessly in the distance.  His hands were tied; there was nothing he could do but watch.  He agonized over watching this happen to one so dear to the brother of his heart.

‘Think’ he whispered into the breeze.

A feeling of reprimand washed over the observer and he rolled his eyes like he had seen O’Neill do many times in the past.  He knew he couldn’t help, but he also knew she would be capable all on her own if the idea came to her in time.

…..

A sound wafted over Sam.  She didn’t register it as a sound to her ears but a command in her mind.

_‘Think.’_   Yeah that was something she could do.  She was good at thinking.  But think about what?

At some point she had sat up, she did not know when or how, she had no memory of it.  Her back rested against the wreckage of the 302 and she closed her eyes.  _‘Think’_

Sam let her mind wander a memory soon taking hold.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

**_“Teal’c” Sam shouted as she caught up with him outside his quarters._ **

**_“Colonel Carter.” He greeted.  “Is there something to which I can be of assistance?”_ **

**_“Well” Sam said with uneasy body language.  “Actually I wanted to talk to you.”_ **

**_Teal’c bowed his head and opened the door to his quarters, Sam following inside.  He sat silently on the bed while she paced.  He said nothing, expression remaining passive while he waited for her to work up the courage to say whatever was bothering her._ **

**_“This is ridiculous”s he muttered to herself before taking a deep breath and diving right in.  “Teal’c normally you are a very hard person to read and never let any of your emotions show.  Yet, lately you seem, I don’t know… depressed.”  She looked right at him.  “And, I believe it has something to do with whatever happened in that 50 or 60 years you were aboard the Odyssey.”_ **

**_Teal’c expression remained the same but the light in his eyes changed and Sam knew she had hit the mark._ **

**_She pulled a chair from his desk and straddled it, arms over the back of it and her head resting on those arms for a minute.  “I know we agreed that you wouldn’t tell us anything and that must be an awful burden to carry.  If anyone could do it, it’d be you.”  She raked a hand through her hair and sighed.”But it cannot be easy to have lived with us for 50 or 60 years and pretend it never happened.”_ **

**_Teal’c still said nothing but allowed his expression to sadden as he bowed his head slightly as an answer in the affirmative._ **

**_“Teal’c…. I’m going to go out on a limb here and make a few educated guesses.  Now, don’t answer but hear me out.”_ **

**_Teal’c nodded and Sam took a deep breath before diving head long into her assumptions.  “Cam went nuts.  I buried myself in trying to figure out the problem, probably shutting everyone out while doing so.  Vala finally managed to break Daniel and they were able to take comfort in each other, while you remained the glue that held us all together._ **

**_Again there was a change in the light in his eyes but nothing more._ **

**_“I’m also guessing…” her eyes left his face and fell to the floor a moment then back to his face yet not meeting his eyes with her own.  “I’m guessing that eventually… I needed comfort too, and I turned to you for that comfort.”_ **

**_The hurt in his eyes was brief but there._ **

**_Sam sighed and buried her face in her hands.  She had known what the problem was, but after talking she was still no closer to a solution.  Mercifully she didn’t need one._ **

**_“Sam” Teal’c said softly.  The use of her first name caused her head to snap up sharply.  Teal’c had never called her anything other than her rank and last name or once or twice ‘Samantha Carter’ but never ‘Sam’._ **

**_Teal’c broke her train of thought by continuing, “While I will cherish the memories of our time together as lovers, it is the time we spent together as close friends and confidants that I mourn the loss of.”_ **

**_“Oh,” Sam said a little stunned.  Then she smiled, “Well that’s something I can remedy.”_ **

**_Teal’c gave a small smile and a bow of his head in acceptance._ **

**_“So what do you miss the most?” she asked._ **

**_“The times we would Kel’no’ream.”_ **

**_Sam looked at him quizzically._ **

**_“You made great breakthroughs in many areas while in a state of Kel’no’ream.  It was in fact during our last session that you solved our problem and was able to reverse time.”  Teal’c’s face took on a sweet yet loving quality.  “I miss the expression on your face as you entered another state of mind.  I could almost watch the calculations going on in your mind as your face shifted with thought.  The look of peace as you opened your mind was contagious and calming, and the look of sheer wonder and excitement as you uncovered a new thruth was as thrilling and refreshing as a spring storm on Chulak.”_ **

**_Sam blushed before finding her voice.  “You’re kidding?”  Teal’c was the meditation master.  She found it a little farfetched that she could surpass him at anything, even though she knew he would not lie to her._ **

**_…._ **

**_Over the next several months Sam and Teal’c meditated every day, even while off world.  Sam made several new discoveries, both scientifically and spiritually.  It came to be that she could solve almost any problem simply by meditating on it for a day or two.  She also started to heal faster, slipping herself easily into a deep state of meditation when injured, concentrating on the flow of her own inner energies and encouraging her body to heal.  In fact, Dr. Lam wanted to test her brain activity while in a state of Kel’no’ream after this mission._ **

……..

_‘Think…’  ‘Meditate.’ ‘Heal’_

Sam cleared her mind, blocked the pain and focused inward.  She concentrated on her own waning energies, redirecting them to her injuries and trying to heal her damaged body. 

She could sense her injuries; severe internal bleeding, broken bones, class 3 concussion, one collapsed lung….

_‘Right.’_   She knew it was pointless; no amount of meditation, no amount of medical miracle working was going to save her.  Ironically the thought didn’t anguish her.  _‘It’s been a good life, a life of science, discovery, adventure and love of friends and family.’_

Sam inwardly smiled as she thought of those closest to her, those still presumably living and those who had already passed.  Jack, Hammond, Janet, Vala, Teal’c, CaCam, Cassie, Daniel…

_‘Daniel.’_   Sam’s heart warmed and she no longer felt the pain that was creeping back into her consciousness.  She no longer registered the ragged breaths that came harder and shallower.  All she felt was the warm glow of love; the love of her friends, her love _for_ her friends, and above all, the love she felt for a certain blue eyed Archeologist.  Sam felt all encompassed by that love, grabbed onto it and followed it, releasing herself from all her Earthly ties and let the warm glow of love take her.

She physically smiled as a vision of Daniel’s own brilliant smile flooded her mind.  In that instant her body ceased to function, releasing her soul from its confines.

 

…………….

**Don’t freak out.  I didn’t put a disclaimer of Major character death in the summary because I wanted it to be shocking.  (I personally HATE major character death fics.)  Remember not all is as it seems!**


	4. Chapter 4

Cam and Daniel set their own damaged 302 several yards away from the wreckage.  The hearts of both clenched and rose to their throats at the carnage before them.  Feet frozen their eyes scanned for signs of life.

The blood drained from their faces as they looked upon the broken body of Colonel Samantha Carter propped up against the remains of her craft.  Bones were obviously broken, her face lacerated and bloodied, a trickle of blood oozed from the corner of her mouth.

                Then she smiled.

“She’s alive” Daniel yelled in a mixture of panic and relief.  He and Cam immediately broke into a dead run.

But, before they could get more than a few feet there was a brilliant white flash and an explosion that knocked them off of their feet.

Daniel was the first on his feet.  “Sam!” he screamed, his voice carrying all the terrifying emotions he was feeling.  He started to run again toward the raging inferno.

“Jackson!” Cam yelled after him.

Daniel didn’t seem to care as he ran forward trying to shield his face with his hands and arms.

Cam caught up and grabbed his arm, trying to drag him back.

Daniel shoved him off and moved forward. “Sam!” his eyes were wide with terror and his voice already ragged from grief and denial.

Suddenly he was tackled from behind, his face planting in the hot soil. 

Daniel and Cam scuffled on the ground, the searing heat burning their skin.

Cam finally pinned Daniel face down.  He struggled but Cam held him firm.

“She’s gone Jackson!” He yelled.  The fight left Daniel and he sobbed.  Grieved and heartbroken his face was red with anguish as he fell apart.

“She’s gone.” Cam repeated in a choked whisper.  With his face next to Daniel’s he grieved for his friend.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Teal’c and Vala landed near the gate relieved to see the crew milling about.

Forty five minutes later Cam and Daniel’s 302 came into view.

“Well it’s about time.” Vala huffed.

“If Colonel Carter was injured it would have taken some time to move her.” Teal’c responded.

Vala bobbed her head.  “True, but she better not have more than a small bump on the head because we have a spa date when we get back to Earth.”

The Stargate activated moments before the 302 touched down.  The first of the crew returned home.  The medical personnel would wait around to treat any injuries before heading through.

Vala ran over to the 302 to greet the rest of her team, Teal’c followed at a more sedate pace.

……..

Ruddy faced and haggard, Cam and Daniel climbed down from the 302, their backs momentarily to the two people they weren’t yet ready to face.

“Where’s Sam?  Didn’t you find her?” Vala asked.

When the two men turned around Teal’c froze in his tracks, his mouth hung slightly open shock.  The answer was clearly written on Cam and Daniel’s faces.  Vala wasn’t stupid, but she refused to believe what she saw there.

“Where’s Sam?” she repeated with a horrified edge to her voice.

“She’s gone Vala.” Cam replied.  He couldn’t believe it himself.  It was all like a nightmare to the likes he hadn’t had since his own 302 crashed in the Antarctic.  He prayed he would wake up drenched in a cold sweat, but he knew in his heart that would never be the case.

“No.  You have to go back for her.  You have to go get her.”  Tears were brimming in her eyes.

Cam let out a shuddered sigh.  “There’s nothing left to go back for Vala.”

“No!” she wailed shoving him.  “You have to go get her, you can’t just leave her!  If you won’t I will.”  She started to scramble into the 302 but Daniel pulled her off.

“Leave me alone!” she thrashed, but Daniel pulled her to him and held her tight until she stilled, finally letting her tears fall.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

At the base of the gate a P-90 with stock extended stood on end.  Sam’s Kevlar rested on top; a pair of boots at its base and charred, slightly melted dog tags, which had miraculously been recovered at the crash scene, dangled.

The ceremony was strained.  No one was able to make it through their speech without breaking down.  Even the well seasoned General O’Neill gave up, threw his papers down on the podium and knelt before her gear and silently cried before gathering enough strength to stand and salute the shrine.  After he fled the room taps was played and everyone filed out; tears in the eyes of every man, woman and otherwise stoic Jaffa.

All but Daniel, who approached the shrine silently.  He still hadn’t made his peace, still hadn’t said any words to the open air meant for her, he hadn’t yet grieved.  Much to the dismay at everyone on base, Daniel had not written a speech, had not uttered one word about his fallen teammate.  Instead he sat silently in her lab blank faced and soulless for the last two days while the wreckage was combed and the ceremony planned. 

He knelt down and removed one of the tags from her chain.  He pulled off his tie and pulled out his own from under his dress shirt.  Normally he would have taken them off after the last mission but he hadn’t.  He undid the clasp and added her tag to it.  He held it up and ran his thumb over the raised letters.

Carter

Samantha, NMN 

USAF

650-55-4321

O Pos

No Rel Pref

 He tucked them under his shirt and walked back down the ramp.

……

Standing in the control room staring at the gate, Daniel as soon joined by Teal’c, Vala, Cam, Jack and General Landry.  No one said a word, just looked at each other in silent confirmation.  Daniel dialed the address to Chulak, the designation of her second mission. 

The seventh chevron locked and the gate opened, the unstable vortex disintegrating the shrine before it, unofficially burying their dear friend, teammate, and savior of Earth.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

 

**A/N:  I couldn’t find a middle name for Sam so I went with hub’s suggestion of NMN or No Middle Name.  The SS# is made up, so my apologies if it’s yours ;oD**


	5. Chapter 5

She was everywhere at once, in a neighboring galaxy watching the birth of a star, on earth witnessing the death of an elderly woman, the birth of a screaming baby boy a world away on P3X-787.  There were so many things she was witnessing that made her realize just how small one life was amongst all… _this_.  Yet, even one life didn’t seem any less important.  There was so much for her to learn, new laws of physics to uncover, so many wonders to behold.  If only she could get the fragments of her being pulled back into one whole piece she could begin.  ‘ _Was transition to ascension always this hard?’_   

_‘No.’_ came her answer.  _‘For you are not truly ascended.  There are many planes of existence, ascension being one of them.  You may yet achieve full enlightenment, we do not know.’_

_‘Who are you?’_ she wanted to ask but she heard a familiar name being screamed from somewhere out in the cosmos by a familiar voice and she was drawn to it.  No longer was her essence scattered about among the cosmos, but pulled together as if by some unknown force.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

It was late at night when he fell into a fitful sleep.  In his dream he saw Sam, sitting broken against her craft.  She smiled.

_‘Daniel’_

It was like a whisper on the wind.

He saw the explosion in slow motion; Sam’s smile shone like the sun in the sky, it lit her face and despite her haggard appearance she was beautiful.  She seemed serene and at peace.

There was a brilliant white flash and her body disappeared, a glow arising from that space.  It lingered a moment then disappeared.  A split second later the 302 exploded.

He tried to fight his way through the acrid smoke but it was like wading through water, then wading waist deep through sand.  Eventually the smoke prevented him from going any further.  As he tried to go back, to maneuver around it, the smoke seemed to trap him, to crush him.  Tendrils of smoke wrapped around hid him, squeezing the life out of him until it seeped into his nostrils and mouth.  The smoke was like an arm reaching down his throat, choking him until it forcefully ripped a scream from his throat.

“Saaaaaaaaammm!”

……….

Daniel woke gasping for breath.  He’d had a version of the same dream for the past 3 nights, always with one constant factor, Sam smiled, said his name and then… then ascended?  As far as he knew, Oma was the only one to help those on the lower planes ascend and she was locked in an eternal struggle with Anubis.  How could she have ascended? He thought maybe it was just a dream; that his mind was trying to find some solace with losing his best friend, his secret crush, and the love he never thought he’d find again.  Why could he never save the women he loved when he himself had cheated death more times than the cosmos could possibly allow?

There was an empty, hollow place in his chest where Sam used to reside.  For the first time since Cam pinned him to the ground, he grieved.  Hot tears began to stream down his face, his chest tightened and he buried his face into the pillows.  “Sam,” he cried, “God, Sam.”

…………

She had been pulled to him with no idea how or why.  He slept fitfully; his pillows beneath him tear stained.

Her being somehow now whole, she concentrated and felt as if she was solidifying.  Sam sat on the edge of the bed and _brushed_ back his hair, her hand passing through it yet ruffling it like a gust of wind.  “Oh Daniel.” She said her voice and ethereal whisper.  She knew how hard it was to lose a teammate.  Of course, when he had died she also lost the love of her life.

Sam laid her hand on the back of his neck and tried to convey to him that she was alright, that she was happy and on a new and exciting journey.  It didn’t quite go as planned.  Instead, she was pulled into his dream state.

…………………………………………………………………

Daniel’s dream shifted.  He was no longer battling against the heat of the flames engulfing Sam’s 302.  He was now in the tent he had inhabited on Vis Uban.  He wore the blue robes of a Nomad, so similar in design to the desert robes he had long ago become accustomed.  The furnishings were the same and outside he could hear people talking.  ‘Jim’ was complaining about his stubbornness.

The tent flap pulled back and he knew that in reality Sam would walk in, P-90 dangling from her tac vest, her blue eyes would rake over him and he would feel… he would feel like he belonged for the first time in his memory, like a jigsaw piece falling into place.  He would ask if there was anything between them, because he was so sure.  She sparked such powerful feelings within him.

Much to his disbelief she would say they were only friends, the best of friends.  Still, he had a gut feeling she was worth it and chose to go home with her.

..

The tent flap pulled back and just like before Sam entered, only this time she was missing her BDU’s and P-90.  Instead, she was dressed in an off white tunic top and matching slacks, her short hair now long, but it was the same Sam none the less.

She said nothing, just looked at him quizzically, as if to puzzle out just why she was there.

“Sam,” he breathed.  There she was; not bloodied, broken, and bruised leaning against wreckage, not being engulfed by flames, but whole.

Sam’s attention had drifted but refocused on him at the sound of her name.

“Huh, wonder how I ended up here?”

She smiled as she turned taking in her surroundings.  She had ‘that’ look that drew his attention to her the first time he saw her geeking out over the DHD on Abydos.  Had he not been so in love with his wife, he would have fallen for her right there.  In retrospect he wasn’t so sure he hadn’t.

Sam looked back at him and all he could do was stare.

Finally snapping out of his trance he broke the silence with a mustered musing.  “I’m dreaming.  I must be dreaming.”

Sam pursed her lips a moment.  “I’m not sure if you’re dreaming or what this is.” She said gesturing to their surroundings.  “There’s so much for me to learn.”

“You’re dead.”  He continued.  “We buried an empty casket two days ago next to Jacob.”

“Well, there’s dead and then there’s sort-of-dead.” She grinned.

“Sort of dead?” he asked raising his eyebrows and crossing his arms.

“I don’t exactly know what I am, only not dead in a sense.  I have no physical body but I’m not truly ascended either, I just… _am_ , for a lack of better explanation.”

Hope flared in his chest and he momentarily brightened.  “Can you descend, come back?”

Sam’s brow furrowed.  “I don’t know, I don’t think so.  But even if I could I wouldn’t.”

Daniel’s expression hardened.  “Why?

“Because, there’s so much for me here.  So much to explore, so much to learn.”

“We need you with us Sam.”

“No you don’t.”  Sam expression turned mournful.  “Face it Daniel, nothing’s been the same since the General left.  We all went our separate ways and yes we got back together to take care of the Ori but it still wasn’t the same as before, we all lost something.  The Ori are now dead, all you have left to do is take care of the followers.”

Daniel dropped his head and sighed.  Things hadn’t been the same after Jack left.  Teal’s had gone off to build the Jaffa free nation.  Sam wanting to help Cassie and God knows what else had moved to Nevada, and he… well he had finally gotten his transfer to Atlantis.  He was excited to go because being in another galaxy and uncovering new things just might take away some of his pain.  Did they all feel the same pain of the team breaking up?  All he knew is that when Sam left for Nevada he discovered a new type of pain, one that he hadn’t felt since he laid Sha’re’s ghost to rest years before.  It was then he realized he wasn’t simply attracted to her or simply best friends, she was his everything.  While they didn’t have a physical relationship, the emotional one they shared was a pretty close substitute for a long and happy relationship.  He felt unbelievably crushed when she moved.  That feeling was only surpassed by her death days before.

She was right though, things hadn’t been the same, he kept her at arm’s length, too afraid to get that close again and he understood what she was saying.  That didn’t mean he had to like it or agree.

“No, things weren’t the same, but that doesn’t make you any less needed now.”

“That’s where you’re wrong.”

Sam closed the few paces between them and drew him into a hug.  She felt so real in his arms.

“You’ll be fine Daniel.  It’ll probably help knowing I’m not completely gone.”

“I doubt it.” He mumbled into her hair.  Pulling back he asked, “Did it help you?”

Sam lowered her eyes.  Even without having a physical form she still choked up at the thought of his death.  “No, not really.  I had so much hurt and so much grief, you might as well have been dead-dead.”  She looked back up at him and placed her hand gently on his cheek.  “You’ll be fine though.  Don’t forget to give Rodney all my research and Cassie pretty much everything else.”  She let her hand drop and took a step back before remembering, “Oh, and on my computer there’s a locked file.  Password is fishing, there’s some files in there for you all and a contact for my will.”

“Sam.” Daniel choked.  “I-I’m not ready to do that.”

She smiled.  “You will be, just make sure it’s relatively soon ok?”  He nodded.  “Goodbye Daniel.”  

He caught her hand as she turned to leave.  “Stay.”

“Daniel I can’t.”

“Just… just for the night.  I haven’t had anything resembling a night’s sleep since I watched your 302 explode with you sitting against it.”

Sam’s heart broke just a little at that.  She never knew anyone had seen her die.  The fact had never really crossed her mind.  She remembered what it was like to watch Daniel die and all of the nightmare ridden nights that even the best drugs in Janet’s arsenal couldn’t dull.

“Alright.” She said and sat down on the cushions scattered on the floor.  

After a moment Daniel did likewise and they struck up a happier conversation that lasted most of the night.  They talked; they talked like they hadn’t in years.  In death she somehow regained her best friend, the way it was years ago, the way it should be.

….

“I do need to go now.  REM only sleep isn’t good for you, you need to sleep deeply too.”

He didn’t want her to leave, in fact he surmised he could stay here forever, talking to her the way they used to.  But he knew she was right and didn’t want to seem too needy or clingy.

“Alright, but only if you promise to visit again.”

She smiled one of those supernova smiles of hers, the kind that lit up her whole face where her eyes would sparkle like multifaceted jewels.  “If I can.  I’m not sure the other’s will allow it, you know how that goes.”

He smiled back at her.  “I do, but I think, like me, you’ll have a hard time following the rules.”

“Probably.” She winked at him.

They stood and embraced again before Sam faded away.

…………….

She was again sitting on his bed.  She bent down and kissed his cheek that he felt only as a ghost like tingle.

“I’ll see you again.”  She said in her ethereal sounding voice.  “I promise.”

Daniel was right.  She was going to have a hard time following the rules and staying away.  

As if to prove the point she broke the first rule, interfering with those on lower planes.  She disabled his alarm clock and phones.  He needed to sleep in, he deserved it and sure as hell had earned it.

………………………………….

The invisible presence nearby just shook his head.  Yes, she _was_ going to be a handful.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Short Chapter, but it kind of needed to be on its own.  The rest I had written didn’t seem to fit in this chapter so will become a chapter of its own as well.  Life is busy, been picking up extra shifts in the ER, so I cannot say when I’ll be uploading again.  Could be in an hour or a month, I do not know.  But thanks to those who are sticking with the story despite the lack of updates!**

**………………………………………..**

“Yo, Jackson!”  Cam yelled with his head stuck into Daniel’s apartment.  After receiving no reply from incessant knocking, he had opened the door with his spare key.  “You in there, or have you been abducted by aliens again.”  Daniel’s neighbors would probably think he’s crazy or joking, but in their line of work, alien abduction was a real possibility.  After receiving no reply, he walked into the apartment leaving the door only slightly ajar behind him and drawing his side arm from under his jacket.

Keeping the barrel ready yet pointed slightly downward, Cam cautiously moved about the apartment keeping a vigilant eye on nooks and crannies he knew would make good hiding places. After checking every open space, he had only the bathroom and Daniel's bedroom left. Cam snapped the door to his room open, bringing his weapon to the ready.

Daniel lay face down on his bed unmoving.  Cam trained his weapon toward the few places an intruder could hide and then toward the door as he backed up to check Daniel's pulse.  Keeping his gun trained on the door he reached his other hand toward the immobile man on the bed.  He pressed his fingers into the pliable skin above Daniel's carotid artery feeling a nice strong beat against his fingers seconds before he was suddenly grabbed and hurled over the bed, landing on the floor with all the air in his lungs making a hasty escape. Daniel landed on him a moment later with his forearm press against Cam´s throat for a moment before he recognized the blurry figure before him.

 "Mitchell?" He asked incredulously.

"Yeah" Cam managed to grunt.  Daniel rolled off of him allowing much needed air to enter his lungs.

Daniel sat on the edge of his bed, searching for something on his night stand as Cam caught his breath and sat up.

"What the hell are you doing here?” Daniel asked while fishing around for his glasses.

"Well," Cam started while coming to his feet and looking around, "when you didn't show up for work we got a little worried about alien abductions, experiments turning you into a 15 year old, that kinda thing. But it seems as as if you just over slept."

"What are you talking about, it's only..."Daniel looked at t the clock on his bed stand, noting the lack of time. "Huh, that's odd" he said more to himself than to Cam.

"Yeah, you didn't answer either of your phone's either."

Daniel picked the cordless phone from its jack and turned it on noting the lack of dial tone. "Huh?" He again muttered, replacing the cordless and picking up his cell and attempted to turn it on to no avail.

.....

Cam wandered around the rest of the apartment while Daniel got dressed.

Daniel came out of his room, shoes in hand and sat on the couch to put them on.

"It seems as though whatever interfered with your phones and alarm clock was isolated to just those items, because your t.v., computers, radio and all other electronics work.  We'll get a team in here to see if they can pick up any strange readings."  Cam looked at Daniel. "Are you sure you're not craving fruitloops or PlayStation?"

Daniel looked at Cam with his brow wrinkled partly in confusion and part in annoyance. "Uhhh, no. Why?"

"Because I swear you look younger, and it would explain the weird goings on in your bed room."

"Well as far as looking younger, it could just be a peaceful nights sleep for a change. As for the other thing, I have no idea what's going on." With that he pulled the last of his laces tight and stood, grabbing his jacket off the back of the couch.

"Well, I still want to get a team in here to see if there's anything wonky going on."

"Wonky?"

Cam just grinned and opened the door, exited and started down the hall.

As unlikely as it should be, Daniel did get the strange feeling of being watched.  He looked back into his apartment for any sign of anything abnormal.  Half way through a quick scan of his apartment he thought he saw a shimmer.  His phone coming back to life distracted him a moment and when he looked back it was gone.

' _Must have been my imagination._ ' He thought.

"Jackson! You coming?" Cam yelled from down the hall.

"Yeah." He shut the door and locked it. As he turned to leave, a faint and familiar giggle hit his ears. He spun around, but despite finding nothing, smiled, turned and hurried down the hall.  For the first time since losing Sam, the thought of her didn't feel as though his insides were being prodded with a Gould torture device. In a way he felt almost cheery, her laughter always did bring a feeling akin to a warm spring day, melting away the blues and turning his mood around.

 

………………………………………………….

 

**A/N: Short Chapter, but it kind of needed to be on its own.  The rest I had written didn’t seem to fit in this chapter so will become a chapter of its own as well.  Life is busy, been picking up extra shifts in the ER, so I cannot say when I’ll be uploading again.  Could be in an hour or a month, I do not know.  But thanks to those who are sticking with the story despite the lack of updates!**

**………………………………………..**

“Yo, Jackson!”  Cam yelled with his head stuck into Daniel’s apartment.  After receiving no reply from incessant knocking, he had opened the door with his spare key.  “You in there, or have you been abducted by aliens again.”  Daniel’s neighbors would probably think he’s crazy or joking, but in their line of work, alien abduction was a real possibility.  After receiving no reply, he walked into the apartment leaving the door only slightly ajar behind him and drawing his side arm from under his jacket.

Keeping the barrel ready yet pointed slightly downward, Cam cautiously moved about the apartment keeping a vigilant eye on nooks and crannies he knew would make good hiding places. After checking every open space, he had only the bathroom and Daniel's bedroom left. Cam snapped the door to his room open, bringing his weapon to the ready.

Daniel lay face down on his bed unmoving.  Cam trained his weapon toward the few places an intruder could hide and then toward the door as he backed up to check Daniel's pulse.  Keeping his gun trained on the door he reached his other hand toward the immobile man on the bed.  He pressed his fingers into the pliable skin above Daniel's carotid artery feeling a nice strong beat against his fingers seconds before he was suddenly grabbed and hurled over the bed, landing on the floor with all the air in his lungs making a hasty escape. Daniel landed on him a moment later with his forearm press against Cam´s throat for a moment before he recognized the blurry figure before him.

 "Mitchell?" He asked incredulously.

"Yeah" Cam managed to grunt.  Daniel rolled off of him allowing much needed air to enter his lungs.

Daniel sat on the edge of his bed, searching for something on his night stand as Cam caught his breath and sat up.

"What the hell are you doing here?” Daniel asked while fishing around for his glasses.

"Well," Cam started while coming to his feet and looking around, "when you didn't show up for work we got a little worried about alien abductions, experiments turning you into a 15 year old, that kinda thing. But it seems as as if you just over slept."

"What are you talking about, it's only..."Daniel looked at t the clock on his bed stand, noting the lack of time. "Huh, that's odd" he said more to himself than to Cam.

"Yeah, you didn't answer either of your phone's either."

Daniel picked the cordless phone from its jack and turned it on noting the lack of dial tone. "Huh?" He again muttered, replacing the cordless and picking up his cell and attempted to turn it on to no avail.

.....

Cam wandered around the rest of the apartment while Daniel got dressed.

Daniel came out of his room, shoes in hand and sat on the couch to put them on.

"It seems as though whatever interfered with your phones and alarm clock was isolated to just those items, because your t.v., computers, radio and all other electronics work.  We'll get a team in here to see if they can pick up any strange readings."  Cam looked at Daniel. "Are you sure you're not craving fruitloops or PlayStation?"

Daniel looked at Cam with his brow wrinkled partly in confusion and part in annoyance. "Uhhh, no. Why?"

"Because I swear you look younger, and it would explain the weird goings on in your bed room."

"Well as far as looking younger, it could just be a peaceful nights sleep for a change. As for the other thing, I have no idea what's going on." With that he pulled the last of his laces tight and stood, grabbing his jacket off the back of the couch.

"Well, I still want to get a team in here to see if there's anything wonky going on."

"Wonky?"

Cam just grinned and opened the door, exited and started down the hall.

As unlikely as it should be, Daniel did get the strange feeling of being watched.  He looked back into his apartment for any sign of anything abnormal.  Half way through a quick scan of his apartment he thought he saw a shimmer.  His phone coming back to life distracted him a moment and when he looked back it was gone.

' _Must have been my imagination._ ' He thought.

"Jackson! You coming?" Cam yelled from down the hall.

"Yeah." He shut the door and locked it. As he turned to leave, a faint and familiar giggle hit his ears. He spun around, but despite finding nothing, smiled, turned and hurried down the hall.  For the first time since losing Sam, the thought of her didn't feel as though his insides were being prodded with a Gould torture device. In a way he felt almost cheery, her laughter always did bring a feeling akin to a warm spring day, melting away the blues and turning his mood around.

 

………………………………………………….

 

 


	7. Chapter 7

It was 2am.  The day had been busy, even by his standards.  He had been loaned out to SG-12 to check out some ruins that contained references to the lost “Ark of the Covenant.”  To find a Judeo-Christian reference on a planet that had been dominated by the Gould for over 3,000 years had been beyond remarkable, it had been downright amazing.  When he returned to earth Cam made some comment in reference to him “being brighter than times square during New Years.” it had been a nice change, the first time off world since Sam had died. But it seemed to be more than that, something... something he couldn't place that seemed responsible for his good mood.

He had spent the rest of the day, night and part of the early morning hours completely lost and pouring over charcoal rubbings, video and notes he had taken during his time off world.  Though his mind was still a whirr, he was fatigued, physically and mentally wiped. He took his glasses off and scrubbed his hands over his face and shook his head to try and wake himself. His coffee now looked to be a cold draught of sludge that threatened to turn into a science experiment if not soon emptied.  The charcoal rubbing on his left caught his eye and he looked at it a moment, then laid his head on the table to look at it at an angle. A pattern started to appear across the page but it barely registered in his conscious mind as it took the position he was in as permission to take a nap. His eyes closed on their own accord.  Moments later images started flashing through his mind. 

…

Sam was laughing at something Vala had said. Her face was wreathed in sun light, happiness lit her features, her mirth lighting her eyes like priceless gems and his breath caught in his chest at the sight. For moments he found himself unable to either breathe or look away, and when her face turned toward his with that dazzling smile fully in place, he was pretty sure his heart stopped.  Then the moment changed and she was sitting against the wreck of her 302 broken and bruised, dying, yet still able to pull off one last smile.  His heart began to race, his chest felt constricted in fear, and perspiration broke out all over his body as panic took a full hold of him. Daniel started to struggle in his sleep, knocking his glasses and cold coffee to the floor. Amazingly the cup did not break.

 _‘Dream of something happy.’_ An ethereal voice whispered into his ear.  His hair ruffled and his movements stilled, face now calm he slipped into a memory turned dream.

She had things to do, miracles to witness, but all that could be put on hold for a moment while she found some way to get a fresh cup of coffee into him.  The translation he was working on was important though even she knew not why.

………….

“Daniel, are you coming in?”  Sam asked, with a playful smile plastered to her face even as she quite unsteadily tried to balance/hop on one foot while trying to pull the boot off the other.

“Maybe in a little bit.”  And he would.  He loved when they found a nice deserted, perfect planet with some sort of scientific significance with the most inviting turquoise lake to camp next to.  There were things for him to do, but nothing to suck in his complete attention; this gave him time to actually appreciate a planet for a change.

The day was slowly waning; the first vestiges of a sunset were starting to show across the horizon.  With the slow spin of this particular planet, sunset would go on for hours, but that didn’t stop the team from calling it a ‘day’ when the sun started to set.  For an hour as the sun scattered the sky in only deep purple streaks, he and Cam would get a funny sort of headache, something to do with the planets minerals and position to its sun and moon and… magnets???? He wasn’t really sure, but it seemed to make Sam and Vala giddy, even Teal’c would seem more jovial; something about naquadah in their blood.  It was for this reason SG-1 was the only ones willing to do the research without being ‘voluntold’.  Daniel and Cam would deal with the hour long headache in order to protect their teammates.  

Right now he’d just sit back, pretend to read his book and take in the view, namely the view of a stunning Lieutenant Colonel unbuttoning her BDU blouse and tossing it carelessly next to him.   After the belt buckle had been released, the baggy pants fell effortlessly off her frame.  

He had seen her in bikini’s much more revealing than the black tank top and matching boyshort underwear she now wore, but it was still his favorite.  There was something about that particular ensemble that just exuded a feel of comfort as well as attraction.  She was comfortable enough with the team to not be shy about being in just her underwear, and attractive as hell in the form hugging fabric and defined body.  Even the slight farmer’s tan seemed to do her justice.

He let her wade waist deep into the water before stripping off himself.   Once waist deep himself, she smiled at him and began to count to three.  Usually at three, they’d dive in, let the shock of the water wake them up and start racing to some imaginary point out in the open water.  Sam always won.  He was a decent swimmer but spent most of his life in deserts.  Every once in a while on a day like today, she’d get from one to two and he’d tackle her and drag her under with him.

As they wrestled he got the funny feeling he was being watched, and not just by the three remaining teammates stripping off on the beach but by someone or something else.  Yet, the feeling did not unsettle him.  Besides, at the moment he was being held underwater by Sam, or at least was, until he got in a good enough position to get under her and lift her out of the water with her sitting on his shoulders.  Vala had already roped Cam into carrying her and the pair advanced on Daniel and Sam to let the girls wrestle it out on top as the boys bantered each other and attempted to keep the wiggling females securely on their shoulders.

………………………

 

Sam floated down corridors and through a solid door to a flight of stairs.  As she moved up them she realized she probably could have just gone through the floors or teleported herself there.  _‘Old habits die hard I suppose’_ she thought.  Just before the door to the Commissary level, a sudden flashback came to her mind.

**She hadn’t been at the command even a year yet, but it still felt like home.  She was growing closer and closer to her team, still staying a bit distant with her CO (especially after that whole turning into a caveman and trying to have her way with him thing), like she should, but spent many hours in conversation with Teal’c or Daniel, mostly Daniel.  She loved picking his brain.  He was as brilliant as her wildest dreams, but he was more.  He had so many complex and compassionate levels to him.  She was pretty sure she had never met such a person in her life.  At times it was easy to forget he was married and maybe she’d get a little flirty, but just a little, and there would always be something to remind her that Daniel was off limits in the romance department.  Despite that he was proving to be an amazing friend, real ‘best friend’ material.  She had always gotten along with guys better than gals anyway.**

**As she was analyzing all of this she reached the door and as she was about to pull it open the object of her thoughts came barreling through; they instantly collided.**

**He grabbed onto her and held her close as they both awkwardly tried to keep the both of them from a hard tumble down the stairs.  After regaining their precarious balance on the small landing he started uttering a string of “I’m so sorry” and “It’s my fault, I wasn’t watching where I was going.”  Sam said nothing in return, she was more aware of the fact that he was still holding her to him, their bodies flush against each other and how nice it actually was.  His eyes were partially hidden behind glasses and a curtain of brown hair, which just looked so soft she had to use every military trick she knew not to lose control and run her hands through it.  And those eyes; blue wells that were bottomless portals into his soul.  Daniel did not hide, but let his nature show in everything he did, yet those eyes…**

**After a moment he seemed to realize that she wasn’t speaking, or moving, but just staring at him.  She must have caught him off guard because she saw the recognition in his eyes of their current position, his arms still wrapped solidly around her and he blushed and started to move, another apology forming on his lips, until he really looked at her.  For a moment they were locked in a gaze, a gaze of curiosity, lust and building passion.  And when his eyes flicked to her lips, she almost closed the small distance between his lips and hers.**

**Unfortunately, the break in eye contact also seemed to break the spell as he suddenly turned scarlet, licked his lips and said “Well, it was nice running into you.” With what could only be called a slightly flirtatious smile.**

**She smiled back at him, “Anytime, the pleasure’s all mine.”**

**Another small moment passed before he finally moved to disengage himself from her and moved to go.  “I’ll see you at the briefing.”  He said with a goofy smile still plastered to his face.**

Sam shook off the memory, and entered the commissary, again she was overwhelmed with memories, memories of many meals shared with her friends and colleagues, or dinner time arguments, and breakfast debates; too many shared coffee’s at 2am, or maybe not enough.

Mentally sighing and realizing that this base was acting like a tether to her soul and that she needed to get away from here if she was going to feel free of the life she left behind, she set out to complete her mission, her final mission she decided, finding Daniel coffee.

She spotted Vala flirting with the Marines and made her way over.  Now, to figure out how to communicate with her.  _‘Shouldn’t be hard.’_  She thought.  _‘I can enter Daniel’s mind and I’m pretty sure he even heard me laugh.’_

“Vala, Daniel needs coffee, the good stuff.  There’s some in my office, use my machine.”

Vala kept on talking to the Marines, adjusting her posture to increasingly more provocative poses and once even flipping her hair over her shoulder.

“Vala!” Sam tried yelling to no avail.  She tried to touch her, but her hand passed right through her with not so much as a goose bump.

After a few moments she was getting quite frustrated.  Luckily the Marine and Vala parted ways and Vala’s attention was now turned inward rather than outward as she grabbed a slice of pie.  Sam concentrated and let her mind drift to Vala, trying to enter her subconciousness.  It was so much easier with Daniel, maybe because he was asleep whenever she tried, or maybe it’s because he was a former ascended.  Either way, she was about to give up when suddenly Vala’s head shot up and looked around.

“Coffee, the good stuff in my lab, Sam’s lab.  Make some for Daniel, he needs it.”

Sam put her all into trying to make the thought stick, and then pulled back to watch and see if she had made any sort of impression at all.

Vala continued to look around a moment more, gooseflesh now prominent on her creamy skin.  She suddenly placed the pie back and turned around.  After a moment’s hesitation, she gave a slight shake of the head and a shiver and walked toward the commissary doors, rubbing her arms against a sudden chill as she went.

Sam followed Vala to her old lab.  It still looked the same as she left it.  As she watched Vala rummage through her cupboards and grin as she found the coffee, Sam knew she had done what she had sent out to do.

Smiling she willed herself to leave the mountain, to once again dance among the cosmos, but found herself suddenly by Daniel’s side, his sleeping form seemingly happy and serene.

Confused but distracted, she bent down and whispered to him.  “Vala’s bringing you coffee.  Try to find the key to translating that rubbing, I don’t know why but it’s important.”

Sam couldn’t help but reach out to touch his face.  Once she did, she was once again drawn into his dream-state.  Instead of interfering, she decided to observe for a while.

…………..

In the end, Sam and Daniel ended up toppling over into the water.  Their only consolation was the fact they had soaked their opponents, Cam who as yet hadn’t been wet from the waist up and Vala whose toes had only touched the water.  The water wasn’t cold but it was cool.

After dinner, Daniel had picked a spot under a tree to rest and read his book by flashlight.  Night was approaching slowly but surely and soon he’d have a headache, but for the moment he was content to sit in the warm breeze and read.

Just as the first vestiges of a headache were creeping upon him, Sam wandered over and sat next to him.   He didn’t have to look to know she was smiling and already a little jazzed up.  For once he wished he too had naquadah in his system so he could enjoy the caffeine like buzz rather than the headache that was starting to pull at his temples.  He lowered the book and rubbed his temples for a moment, fruitlessly trying to ward the headache off.

“Headache coming on?” Sam inquired.

“Yeah.” Wow even his voice was starting to sound miserable.

“I appreciate you and Cam’s dedication in coming here with us, but really, like I said before we’ll be fine, why don’t you two head back?”

“No, like we told you, the moment we leave something will go wrong and we’ll be stuck on opposite sides of the gate.  Besides, the hour long headache is worth it to relax on a planet like this.”  He tried offering her a grin but was sure it came out as a grimace as a sharp pain streaked from one temple to the other.

Sam winced in sympathy before pulling the book and flashlight out of his lap.  “Come here.” She said.  “Put your head in my lap and relax, I’ll read to you.”  He had read to her many times in the past, she figured it was high time that she read to him as well.

“It’s in Latin.” He pointed out.

“I’m sure even with my butchered pronunciation I’m sure you’ll be able to follow along.”

With that Daniel shrugged his shoulders and repositioned himself so his head was snuggly in Sam’s lap and he was looking up at her beautiful face, the light from the flash light highlighting parts of it in an almost comical way at times.

Sam began to read and Daniel grinned, her accent was terrible, she was applying English rules to another language, stressing the wrong consonants, pronouncing silent letters, but he still understood.

After a page or two she stopped.  “Daniel?”

“Hmmn?”

“I thought earlier you told me this was research?”

“Mmhmm.”  His eyes were closed and he was feigning sleepiness when in all reality, aside from his headache, he was very much aware of his surroundings and just how **_nice_** this was.

Sam grinned before saying, “It sounds more like a romance novel to me.”

“That’s just the flow of the Latin, even a dictionary would sound like that.”  He said evenly.

“Uh huh.” Sam said with mirth evident in her voice.  “I’m pretty sure this translates to ‘ _she hungered for him like she had no other._ ’  Not exactly a technical manual now is it?”

“What?”  Daniel said with more than a little surprise in his voice.

Sam giggled a little, “ _Illa_ _esurivit_ _enim_ _eum, quasi_ _non habebat_ _altera._ _”_ “she hungered for him like no other, or it could be _she stalked him like no other_ , but given the context of the previous page, I’m pretty sure I was right the first time.”

Daniel sat up and faced her.  “Since when do you speak Latin?”

“Paulo ultra annum an semissem,” (For just over a year and a half), she said in a terrible accent.

“Learned on your own huh?”  She should have asked him for help, maybe then she’d have a shred of a decent accent, but he was impressed none the less.

“No, actually.”  She seemed a little unsure about proceeding, but eventually said, “Jack taught me.”

“Jack?”  Daniel repeated obviously surprised.

“Yeah.”  She chewed on her lip a moment then sat the book down and drove the end of the flashlight into the sand.  “We tried.”  She seemed to be confessing something as she started to doodle equations in the sand.  

Daniel for his part remained silent, waiting for her to come out of her shell.  They hadn’t done this in a long time, talked like best friends and confidants.  There had been a chasm between them since Cam had ‘gotten the band back together.’  Maybe now they could start to remedy that.

Sam continued, “We tried to have a relationship, you know, after I left for Nevada.  We spent a lot of time together, well, as much as possible with our jobs on opposite coasts that is.  We had a hard time finding things we both enjoyed doing.  So one day he offered to do something ‘brainy’ and teach me Latin.”  She smiled a bit, “I’ll have to say I was impressed and I did enjoy it, even though it was obvious it was tedious for him.  So I tried something ‘boring’ and attempted fishing, going to hockey games and stuff like that.”  Sam paused for a moment then sighed.  “In the end, we just couldn’t find enough in common outside of work to support a relationship.  Not to mention we’re both still work-a-holics.”  After another long pause she said.  “We had to try though, and it ended amicably and mutually.”

Daniel reached out and took the hand that was still doodling in the sand.  “I’m sorry it didn’t work out.”  He said honestly.  Sam and Jack both deserved some happiness.

Sam just shrugged, and then tensed as the light in her eyes changed to one on guard.  A moment later she was tackled by Vala and they both went rolling toward the water’s edge.

Daniel could barely make out their forms in the darkness, but heard their laughter and Sam’s failed attempt at using a scornful voice when she yelled “Vala!  What are you?  Three?”

………………..

“I still can’t believe she tackled me.”

Daniel looked to his left and smiled at Sam.  She was clothed in white and her hair was long, and it did not seem strange that she was sitting here next to him watching herself wrestle in the dark with Vala.

“Well, you got her back.”  He said.  “You did dump her into the lake, which became infested with eels after dark.”

She smiled.  “You need coffee Daniel.”

Daniel wrinkled his nose and gave a slight shake of the head.  “That the last thing I want right now.  Besides, the headache will go away soon.”

“No, you need to look at that translation again.  Wake up and smell the coffee Daniel.”

“I don’t want to.” He mumbled.

“Daniel?  Daniel?”  Sam’s voice had changed and her face morphed into a blurry blob.

“Sam?” he said confused.

“No Daniel, it’s me.”  Came Vala’s voice.  

After blinking a few times, the blurriness left his eyes and he lifted his head off his desk, charcoal from his rubbing left imprints of runes on his cheeks.

He looked around for his glasses and Vala picked them up from the floor and handed them to him.

“Vala?  What are you doing here?”

Vala sat on the edge of his desk and handed him the cup of coffee in her hands.

“Well, that’s the most curious thing.  I was in the commissary chatting with a few Marines that just got back from some planet or another, when I got an urge to bring you coffee.”

Daniel smiled and his eyes became playful, “Really? Thinking about my coffee needs at 3 in the morning?”  He took a sip then looked down at the cup of coffee in his hands and then glaringly back at Vala.  “Vala, where did you get this coffee?”  He demanded.

“See that’s another odd thing, I got it from Sam’s office.  And not by choice.”  Her face twisted into one of worry.  “I’ve been avoiding that whole wing since… well since.  But I just _had_ to make your coffee there, it’s like I knew you needed the good stuff Sam always kept around.”  At the look on Daniels face she said, “Daniel what’s wrong?”

Daniel ignored her and started looking around.

“Daniel?  What are you looking for?”

“Sam.  She’s here.”

“Daniel, Sam’s…. Sam’s dead.”  She grabbed his arm turning his attention toward her.  “You’re as painfully aware of that as I am.” She said in an almost whisper.  

“I know.  She’s gone, but not gone gone.” 

“Daniel you’re not making any sense.”

“I think she ascended, or at least partially ascended.”  He said speaking in the excited tone he used when describing a civilization or artifact.

“How do you know?”  She asked.

“I’ve been dreaming it.  The crash, the nightmares.  Right before the 302 explodes there’s a brilliant white flash, it must be her ascending.  Then there are the dreams, she’s with me, talking like we used to long ago.  She’s experiencing wonders we can’t even imagine in her current form!”  There was now a light in his eyes, a hope, an understanding, something to hold on to.

A sad look came over Vala.  “Daniel, I want her back as much as you do, but I think it’s just wishful thinking.  You’re the only one who can come back from the dead at will.”  At his look she added.  “If she was ascended, she would have come back to us Daniel, I know she would.”

“She’s not fully ascended, that’s why she can’t come back.”

Daniel…”  Vala started but he cut her off, a slightly angry edge to his voice.

“Then why did you bring me coffee at 3 am, something only Sam used to do, from her own stash even!  And how do you explain what went on in my apartment?  The teams found nothing unusual, but everything went just right for me to sleep in, to rest for a change.”

“I don’t know Daniel.” Vala now sounded defeated and exhausted.  “But you’re not the only one with sleep troubles, which is why I’m up, bringing you coffee at 3 am.  I think we both just need some sleep.”  With that she turned and left, but not before Daniel saw tears brimming in her eyes.

 

Daniel took another sip of the rich roast.  It was just what he needed too.  “Thank you Sam.” He said to the empty room.


	8. Chapter 8

She was feeling lonely.  While there was so much to explore and discover, she started to wonder what the point was if you had no one to share it with.  Semi-ascension provided no companionship.  There was a time when all she needed was a problem to solve, her gadgets and her brain.  But after 10 years of near constant companionship of her team, she found the lack of another soul to talk to torture in its own right.

 _“Is this how Daniel felt while ascended?_ She asked herself.  She remembered once upon a time he had told her that he loved Abydos, the people, the culture and his wife most of all, yet, he still missed being able to share his discoveries with someone who could appreciate them.  Years later she had asked if he still felt the same way with the Stargate Program being secret and he had said, “Sometimes, though it’s not as bad as Abydos.  Here I have colleagues and friends who I can get excited with,” and shared a knowing smile with her.  She may have not been an archeologist, but even from their first meeting he had found that she was as much a scientist and explorer as a soldier.

Even though she had promised herself that she would move on with whatever life she had at the moment, she felt an overwhelming need to be near her friends again.

………….

They were at O’Malley’s, playing pool and drinking beer, or in Teal’c’s case, club soda.  They seemed to be having a good time, but Sam could tell the mood was subdued, even Vala wasn’t as rowdy as usual.  Sam could sense that they still didn’t feel right doing things without her, but were trying in vain to move on themselves.  The thought saddened her a little.

Daniel was bent over the pool table aiming to take a shot.  Sam couldn’t help but take in the view of Daniel’s backside.

No one seemed to notice her presence.  She wondered if he truly could only communicate with her while asleep.  She placed an ethereal hand on his back just as he was taking his shot.  Daniel faltered, scratching the table with his cue and sending the cue ball lazily rolling toward the side pocket.  He was lucky he didn’t scratch.  He did however, bolt upright and turned toward the disconcerting feeling.  His eyes bulged as he saw Sam standing before him.

“What the hell was that?”  Cam exclaimed.  

“Wha-?” was all Daniel could choke out.  He looked nervously around to see if anyone else saw the slightly glowing specter of Sam Carter standing before him.  It rapidly became apparent that he was the only one having hallucinations.  “I think I need some air.” He blurted to his confused and worried friends and made a bee line for the door, weaving through a throng of people just arriving.

The cold air hit his face and filled his lungs as he took a deep breath of Colorado air.  He shivered as his coat remained inside, but the cold didn’t really bother him, in fact he was hoping it would wake him up, because he apparently was dreaming.  Isn’t that what Vala kept telling him?  That it was all a dream, a wish that Sam was somehow still out there somewhere and trying to communicate with him?

“Daniel Jackson, are you well?”  Came Teal’c’s voice.

Daniel turned to face him.  “Yeah, I think so.”  

Teal’c raised his eyebrow unconvinced. 

“I just...”  He began, stuffing his hands in his pockets, “I thought for a moment… that I saw Sam.”  Maybe Teal’c would understand since when he had been ascended he had visited Teal’c in such a manner that left the confident Jaffa warrior concerned about his sanity.

Teal’c bowed his head in understanding.  “When we are missing a loved one, we often see them in people around us.  A glimpse perhaps, of someone with a similar build or hair of a similar style.”  Teal’c face looked slightly solemn.  “I too miss her very much; it’s hard to enjoy an evening such as this without her.”  Expression changing once more to one of slightly forced bravery he said, “There will be a time when the pain is dull enough to enjoy such activities once again.  Yet, perhaps this evening is not that time.”

Daniel wanted to argue Teal’c’s logic as to why he thought he had seen Sam, but decided it may be for the best if he just went along with it.  “You know Teal’c, I think you’re right.  I think I’m going to head out, call it a night.  Let Mitchell know for me will ya?”

Teal’c bowed his head in assent and went back into the steakhouse.

…

“How’s Daniel?” Vala asked as Teal’c approached the table.

“He will be fine Vala Moldovan.  He has gone home for the night.  I think I will retire as well.”

“So, what was wrong with him?” Cam asked tossing his cue onto the pool table, a gesture Vala duplicated.

Teal’c picked up Daniel’s jacket making a mental note to give it to him the next morning.  “He likely saw the likeness of Colonel Carter among the crowd.  I believe he is not yet ready for such outing without her, neither am I,” the last was said quietly almost as an aside.

Cam nodded his head; he was also having trouble picking up where SG-1 had left off without Sam.  He knew it would get better in time, but it was still a fresh wound.

Vala still had a worried look on her face.

“What?” Cam asked her.

Vala sighed.  “I’m not sure if he saw someone that looked like her or if he actually saw her.”  At Cam’s confused look she elaborated.  “Daniel… Daniel believes that Sam possibly... sort of... ascended.”  

Teal’c's eyebrow arched off of his head in a way that up until meeting the man, Cam could have sworn only a cartoon could manage.

“What?”  Cam said.

Vala flopped into her seat at the booth they had occupied, quickly followed by Cam and Teal’c. 

“Daniel has been dreaming about the crash, and in it Sam ascends.  Apparently he also has other dreams, where she is alive and well and chatting him up.”

“I think we’ve all had dreams where Sam is still alive, how is that any different?” Cam asked.

“Because Daniel believes it as fact.  He believes she is still around, watching over us.”

Cam gave her a small grin.  “My Grandma used to say that loved ones are always watching us from heaven.  Scared the bejesus out of me as a kid to think that my Grandpappy might be watching me sneaking peeks at the girls’ skinny dipping in the local watering hole and wondering what type of whooping he’d give me after I made it to the pearly gates.”

Teal’c look amused but Vala made no quip, she still looked worried.

“Look,” Cam began, “I know Jackson isn’t exactly the religious sort, but it’s my experience that in times like this we look to _something_ for an explanation, a reasoning behind it all to make our pain worth it.  I’m sure he’ll be alright.”  At Vala’s unconvinced look he said, “Why don’t we all just keep a subtle eye on him, just to make sure alright?”

Vala nodded.  “It could be that I’m just over worried.”  Vala made an ironic sounding scoff.  “Ya know, this is why I’ve lived my life fast and alone.  All this caring about people just comes back to bite you in the ass in the end.”

Cam reached across the table and gave Vala’s hand a squeeze.

“I suppose there’s no going back now though.”  She looked up at Cam then to Teal’c.  “Yeah, let’s keep an eye on him, just to make sure.  This isn’t easy on any of us, myself included and I’m fairly new to this little group, I can’t imagine what he’s going through, I don’t think any of us can.”

“What do you mean?” Cam asked retracting his hand.

Vala gave him a sad little smirk.  “Didn’t you notice the little smiles he gave her?  Or how close he’d stand to her, the midnight coffee and chats?”

Cam looked at her a little bug eyed but Teal’c just looked wistful, or as close as a Jaffa could get.

“I’ll admit, I like Daniel, and I’ve seen Samantha as a rival for his attentions, especially at the beginning.  But she became a good friend as well, and the only female I can talk to on this planet.  I miss her a lot, but I don’t think any of us can miss her like Daniel does, because as far as I know he’s the only one in love with her.”

Cam looked at Teal’c in slight bewilderment.  He was sure that if any of his team members were in love, he’d have picked up on it.  That Vala wanted him was no revelation, but surely he’d have seen what Vala thinks she saw right?  As the Jaffa gave a slight bow to his head, indicating Vala was right, he decided that maybe Daniel did warrant a closer watch.  The man just couldn’t catch a break.  Every woman he loved was snatched from him.  The jokes about Sam being a black widow were just as true for Daniel.

“Alright Vala, I think you’re right.  We need to keep an eye on him, make sure he’s doing alright.  It hasn’t been very long since she died, and he seemed to do a 180 a few days ago.”  Cam stood and pulled on his jacket.  “But right now, we should get going, we have a mission in the morning.  They say the best way to get over losing a teammate is to get back to the job as quickly as possible.  I’m sure it’s pure bullshit, but at this point, I’m willing to try anything.”lly ffa could get.

 he'e just comes back to bite you in the ass in the end.

They parted ways, all lost in their own little worlds of desolation.

……………………………


	9. Chapter 9

Sam had floated around in her own mind for some time after seeing her team at O’Malley’s.  What had seemed like mere moments to her was several hours Earth time.  By the time she had come out of her reverie with a decision to find a way to communicate with her team, to still be a part of their lives and them of hers in some way; SG-1 had gone through the gate and encountered a planet whose inhabitants were less than friendly.  They had been fired at, scattered and injured.  Teal’c, Vala and Mitchell had all been captured by the time she had found them, and Daniel lay injured, half frozen in a cave surrounded by fresh snow.  He hadn’t been able to risk a fire and had eventually dropped off to sleep though he practically convulsed from the cold.

Sam had found him, stayed next to him and tried to wake him.  When he wouldn’t wake she entered his mind, which had been a jumble of memories, thoughts and nightmares assaulting her in random order.  Nothing seemed right except his awareness of oppressing cold.  Sam tried to mentally nudge him awake.  When that failed she decided to ‘browse’ around, maybe find some information that may help her get him up and moving, get some warmth back into his body.  

She ended up wandering down what visually looked like a white hall.  On the side were memories, frozen in still-frame.  If she reached out and touched one she’d enter a memory or a dream that may or may not resemble anything like it did in reality, everything seemed to be damaged and almost… _bleeding_.

Eventually, she came to a door.  She tried to open it to find that it was locked.  She closed her eyes and reached out with her mind, trying to will it open.  Eventually she focused on the lock, focused on picking the lock as if it were a physical lock.  She opened her eyes with a small smile when the door opened with a soft ‘snick.’

Inside was a library, all the books on shelves that seemed to reach into infinity.  She approached the closest shelf and took down a monstrous volume.  The binding looked to be worn leather, the pages fragile and yellow, and each one written in Ancient.  The volume she currently held in her hands seemed to be an outsider’s view of the human condition, of suffering, and clawing their way over obstacles and challenges, sometimes for the betterment of their species, sometimes not.

Sam wondered if she’d actually find anything helpful in here.  What she needed was a way to help Daniel.  Mere moments after the thought entered her mind, the shelves of books started racing past her giving her an odd sense of vertigo.  Finally they stopped and a book fell from unknown heights to her feet without a sound.  She bent and picked it up and started flipping through it.  After a moment she stopped browsing and started reading.  It was basically an ascended being’s guide to healing, controlling weather patterns and other such abilities.  Sam took another look around the room and realized that this was probably the inaccessible area of his mind where the ancient knowledge was stored.

While she would love to delve into all of this, she was acutely aware of Daniel’s injuries and growing hypothermia.  She held the book close to her chest and closed her eyes, willing herself out of Daniel’s mind.  When she opened them she was next to Daniel on the ground of the frozen cave, the book no longer clutched to her chest; however, the knowledge of that book was now with her, the fact causing her to raise an eyebrow, Teal’c style, when she realized that knowledge was the product of ‘mind melding’ with Daniel.  There wasn’t time to reflect on suck thoughts though.

Sam placed her hands on Daniel’s chest and focused on his injuries.  She re-directed his own energies, his immune responses and augmented them with her own energy to start an accelerated healing process.  He seemed to heal so slowly at first, but she kept at it, kept encouraging his body to heal and to heal faster, and faster, and faster.  Finally he started to glow with the energy that was created to heal him, cuts and tears both internal and external fused, created repair cells, then replacement cells until he was left with a light pink mark where new skin covered the old wound.  Clotted blood was rapidly moved, bit by bit from his brain to be broken down and recycled elsewhere in his body, neuro-connectors were encouraged back into place and rapidly sparked, rekindling those lost connections, connecting the dots, so to speak, in his memory.  With the repairs nearly done, Sam concentrated on sending a feeling of warmth through him.  After several seconds he stopped shaking and shivering and released a contented sigh as he shifted in his sleep.

Minutes later he opened his eyes to see the ghostly image of Sam next to him and smiled at her.  She smiled back briefly before her head snapped in the direction of the cave entrance.  A moment later sounds of footfalls, cursing and shouting hit his ears as a group of men bore down on his position.

Shouts suddenly went up through the group as one pointed out Daniel’s obvious path.  Sam ventured to the edge of the entrance and looked out as one of the men pointed in her direction and they all started scrambling up the hill toward the cave.

 _‘I can’t let them find him’_ she thought.  With her newly gained knowledge she gathered storm clouds to their area.  The wind picked up and thunder pealed.   The group of advancing men stopped and looked to the sky in bewilderment.  As she was about to release a series of lightning strikes on the group, a presence appeared next to her and laid a hand on her shoulder.

“I cannot allow you to do this.” The presence said.

The next thing Sam knew she was witnessing Daniel being hauled roughly to his feet by a large, ugly, monster of a man with half rotted teeth.  She then felt an odd sensation of being pulled, bit by bit, away and into the unknown.

……

Twice she tried to return.  Twice she was there only long enough to see her former teammates and dear friends being tortured by thugs being overseen by one of the leaders of the Lucian Alliance.  The last time she felt the clear warning not to return from several different sources.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………..

 

 

Sam had to wonder, why, a being of energy could still feel emotions such as frustration, guilt, sadness, anger and love.  It didn’t make any sense to her, to have physical emotions when one did not have a physical body.  That thought alone frustrated her.  She could likely find the answer to her question if she searched for it, but at the moment she didn’t really care, she was frustrated and needed to do ‘something’.   So, she had found an abandoned planet and was wreaking havoc on the weather systems.

Lighting ignited a tree, but before it caught the dry forest on fire she doused it with and incredible downpour.  A few miles away she spawned a tornado in a field, sending the little wildlife that occupied this world into a frenzy as it scattered in all directions to avoid the chaos.

Normally she would be having fun, looking at what she was doing as an experiment in her new powers, looking at it all with a scientific eye, but right now, she was just doing it to burn off some energy.  

She scoffed at the thought, _‘Burn off some energy indeed.  I’m nothing but energy anymore.  Restricted to ridiculous rules, unable to communicate with or touch anyone I care about.  I’m like a specter, watching life go on while I’m here, doing what exactly?  It’s not like I’m changing the universe for the better or saving lives.  Just the opposite; I’m here, hands tied (for lack of a better phrase)while my friends are being beaten and tortured by the Lucien Alliance_ ed racing past her giving her an odd sense of vertigo.  Finally they stopped and a book fell from unknown heights to land soundlessly at her feet. She picked it up and started to thumb through it.  In it was knowledge on how to control nature, weather patterns, growth and death and the like.  after a couple of pages she found something that might help, how to heal using ones own energy to channel the injured persons energy and immune system into an accelerated healing and how to augment that with energy from the universe itself.

Several bolts of lightning struck the ground in a circle around her.  She’d give anything to save them.  

“Anything?”

Sam didn’t turn to the presence beside her.  “Can you send me back?”  She asked.  He’d know she meant. 

“I have the ability, yes.  But I cannot send you back.”

“Then why are you here Skaara?  It has to hurt you just as much to see them tortured, to see _him_ tortured.  He was your bother in law for crying out loud!”

Skaara smiled inwardly at how much O’Neill had rubbed off on her, his mannerisms and expressions.  He knew they all had absorbed parts of each other and made it part of their own identities.  

“This is why I do not torture myself with following him so closely.  I only pop in from time to time, you might say, to see if he is happy, to see if he is well.” He answered finally.

“Well he’s not well is he?”  Thunder cracked a final time then the tornado evaporated and the storm ceased.  She pulled her being into as good of a solid state as she could manage and sat on the soaked ground, she couldn’t even feel the water and lamented at the loss.

“No.  But I’m not here for him right now.  I am here for you.”

“Why?” she asked.  It wasn’t like she really knew Skaara, not like Jack or Daniel did.

“Because you are very dear to those I once called friends, family really.”

Still frustrated and very short of temper she asked, “So why are you here, what can you do for me if you can’t send me back so I can help them?”

Skaara sighed and looked down at her slumped form before sitting next to her.  “I am here to offer you guidance; it just depends on what you want, what you are willing to sacrifice and what for.”

“What I want is to save my friends.”  She replied defiantly.

“Then you need to make a choice, are you willing to give up the chance of ascension to become human once more or are you willing to let go of the life you left behind to reach full enlightenment.”

Sam looked at him, storm clouds returned overhead and he could sense the storm within Sam herself as she spoke angrily, “What good is enlightenment, what good is all this, all that power if you cannot use it, if all you ever are is alone, drifting with no real purpose just for the sake of doing so?  Huh?  How _grand_ is enlightenment when you cannot share it, when all you can do is sit idly by while people suffer?”

Skaara gave her a sad little smirk.  “We do with it what we can, help those that we can in small ways, not enough to bring the wrath of the collective, but what we can.”

Sam gave a small little snort.  “Which is why you told me to think… when I was dying.  That _was_ you wasn’t it?”

“Yes.” At this he smiled.  “It was enough to earn me the equivalent of a frown from the others.  A punishment well worth the action I think.”

Sam allowed him a small but genuine smile.  She _was_ grateful for what he had done.  Could she have found her way here without the nudge in the right direction?  Who knows?  Despite her somewhat desperate circumstances she was thankful.

“So how can I go back if neither you nor anyone else can help me?  I’ve tried myself, several times since they were captured but I can’t.”

“There is another way.  You must have noticed your abilities increase after every time you, how did you put it? Mind...meld?”

Sam gave a small chuckle and said, “It was the only thing I can think of.  And for some reason it only seems to work with Daniel, maybe because he’s asleep or does it have to do with his prior ascension?”

“Neither.  You’ll work the answer out for yourself in time as to why it works, but for now, you have all you need to accomplish your goals.” He rose then continued, “Just be sure it is what you want, because you won’t have another chance.”  With that he disappeared.

 

…………………………………………………….


	10. Chapter 10

So far he was the lucky one.  Teal’c and Mitchell had been beaten to a pulp, Vala was still unconscious from the first round (no doubt due to her sharp tongue when being ‘interrogated’) and he had cuts and bruises all over his body, but at least he had yet to lose consciousness.  Maybe it was because he couldn’t come up with the witty remarks Cam and Vala did, or have utter defiance radiate from him like Teal’c.  The most he could muster was a depressed acceptance of his fate.  He had expected to see Sam, actually he had expected her to visit in his dreams every time he closed his eyes, but she wasn’t and he felt slightly abandoned even though he had been sure he had seen her in the cave.  He had felt her there, healing him, warming him.  After the beatings he received both before the cave and after his recapture, Daniel decided that maybe it _was_ all a hallucination.  He was starting to think Vala was right, he was dreaming and just looking for something he could hold on to.  But yet… there was still something nagging at the back of his mind that told him she was still out there.  Still, if she was out there, why wasn’t she _here_ with him, seeing him- _them_ all through this?

Daniel laid his head back against the cold wall of the cell he shared with his coma-toast teammates, Teal’c had been dragged off, Mitchell was in an out of semi-consciousness, mumbling something every so often about his Grandma having something to say; about what, he didn’t know.   He looked at his cell door again and got up to inspect it.  He pried off a panel for the 5th time since being stuffed in there and wondered what he had to do to those crystals to open the door.  So far, the only thing he’d managed to do was get electrocuted.  He missed Sam.  She could have sprung them by now.  With a sigh, he resumed sitting, closing his eyes and hoping for a vision of Sam to help him out again or at least a nice hallucination to keep him company.

 

….

 

“Daniel?”  Sam’s soft voice filled his ears with a ghostly sound.

“Mmmh?” He responded, not bothering to open his eyes from the slight doze he had been in.

“I’m here to help you Daniel, but I need your help first.  Can you open your eyes?” she asked.

After a moment, Daniel grudgingly complied.  Sleep had been right around the corner and its pull was strong.  He blinked at her a couple times and tried to grin though it came out more like a grimace as his face was stiff with spots of swelling and bruising.  She kneeled down in front of him.

“Hey there.”  She said smiling.  “You look like you’ve been better.”

“I have…  Thank you by the way.”

She looked at him quizzically.  “For what?”

Daniel shrugged.  “Everything.  Healing me, warming me.  I wondered about my sanity for a while, but since you’re here…”  He managed something resembling a smile this time.

“Think nothing of it.  Now how about we get you out of here, get those two woken up and go rescue Teal’c.”  She held out a hand to him and grinned at the startled look on his face when his hand made contact with hers and did not pass through.  She pulled him to his feet and he looked at her with a mixture of curiosity and a renewed concern for his mental status.

Sam chuckled and assured him, “You’re not losing it Daniel, I’m tangible to you, and only you.”

“Why?  I mean why me and only me?”

Sam let go of his hand and simply shrugged.  “The ‘others’” was all she gave as a reasoning, but that was good enough for him.  He was sure he didn’t understand their rules when he was ascended, he sure didn’t understand them as a lowly human.

He reached out and pulled her into a hug which she gladly returned.  “I’ve missed you.” He murmured into her hair.

Sam smiled and replied, “I’ve seen more of you since I’ve died than I have the past few years Daniel, how could you possibly miss me?”

Daniel held her just a little tighter and Sam thought it was probably a good thing that in her current state she didn’t need to breathe or she’d probably be quite an unpleasant shade of blue by now.  “I’ve missed you for the past few years Sam, God it killed me when you moved away.”

Sam’s smile fled her face and squeezed him just a little tighter too.  “I’m sorry Daniel, I really am.  But I’m here now and we need to get you out of here before you have the need to ascend again yourself.”

He didn’t seem to want to let her go and held on a few more moments before pulling back enough to plant a kiss on her forehead.  “As long as you promise not to disappear on me again as soon as we’re free.”

She look him in the eyes and with complete sincerity said, “I won’t, I promise.  In fact, if all goes according to plan, I’ll be walking out of here with you, in full view of everyone else.”

The look he gave her made her think of a little boy in a pet store being let loose to choose a new puppy, his eyes were so full of hope, joy and _something else_ she wasn’t sure she wanted to decipher.  “Really?” he asked.

Sam just nodded.

“You said you needed my help.  What can I do?”

Sam smiled brightly, “Relax.  All you need to do is relax and meld with me.”

 

Daniel raised his eye brows, “meld?”

Sam nodded.  “Every time I’ve visited you, I’ve come away with new abilities, with new knowledge of the Universe.  I thought I was just gaining it slowly on my own, but it turns out that I’ve been absorbing your knowledge from when you were ascended.”  She tapped his forehead.  “It’s all in there, everything I need to fully ascend, so I can descend…  You have the knowledge I need.”

At the last of it Daniel’s eyes went from warm and curious to cold and skeptical and he stiffened in her arms.  It was a little too familiar for his taste.  He had encountered Sam before, a cold steel version of her with a taste for Universal dominance and a hand in his head as she dredged up the latent knowledge of the Ancients.

“Daniel what’s wrong?” She asked with concern heavy in her voice.

He looked deeply into her eyes as if searching.  Instead of a cold grayness behind her eyes, he only saw warm blue, filled with genuine concern for him and he relaxed.

“Nothing, sorry.”  He tried, Sam clearly wasn’t buying it.  “It’s just… we’ve been through stuff like this before.”  At the questioning look in her eyes he continued.  “Trapped, drugged or tricked in an attempt to get information, Hathor, Apophis just to name a few.”

The worry in her eyes eased and was replaced by understanding.  “I understand Daniel, and if you want to wait just to make sure, that’s fine.”

“No.  No, there’s no need.  I know it’s you.”  He gave her one of those half smirk/half smiles that he only seemed to give her.  “Do what you need to do Sam.”

After a moment’s hesitation she said.  “Just close your eyes and relax.”

He did just that and Sam was struck with the trust Daniel had for her.  He was willing to put aside his doubts and let her into a part of him that was supposed to be his alone, a place no other person was supposed to touch, yet he would let her, just like that.

Sam closed her eyes and leaned in until their foreheads were touching.  A moment later she was in Daniel’s mind.  First thing though, she reached out and sensed his injuries and healed them.  She figured she might as well while she still had the ability.  

Sam could sense Daniel letting down his guards, letting down the walls of protection he had built.  Layer by layer he let her deeper and deeper into his mind until she found herself at the door to the room she knew to be the ‘library’ where he kept all the Ancient knowledge tucked away, safely hidden from both others and himself.  While she had been here before, it was while he was injured and his brain addled.  This time she knew she would not be able to open the door or pick the lock unless he specifically let her.  

As Daniel tried to free himself of any reservations and allow her through that door, the memory of the reason why he had those reservations surfaced in rapid replay.

Sam watched as the replicator version of herself took what she wanted from him, messed with his mind, tricked him, rummaged around like she owned the joint.  That is until Daniel revealed that while she had been running free in his mind, he had been learning, looking for an opening to fight her back.  Sam watched in horror as Daniel struggled to keep the replicator version of herself under his control, fighting a losing battle but in the process saving his friends, giving them time to do what they needed to kill her, and by association him.  That is, until her replicator double momentarily gained the upper hand, learning her lesson well about trying to best Daniel in a game of wits, she ran him through rather than risk him actually winning the fight.

Sam pulled out of Daniel’s mind so fast he doubled over, grabbing his head in pain.  After a moment the ice-pick-through-the-brain sensation subsided and he looked up into the horrified face of his best friend.  She was paler than he’d ever seen her, which was saying something since for the past few weeks she had been nothing more than a hazy, slightly glowing ghost version of herself.

He stood fully upright and reached out to her but she jerked backed as if he were some sort of leper.  “Sam.” He said, his voice laced with concern and a little hurt.  “Sam, it wasn’t you.  I knew it wasn’t you, which is why I’ll let you have the knowledge you need.”  He looked at her with a pained expression but she still just gaped at him in horror as she processed what she had just seen, what had never been in the reports.  Having been previously descended with no memory of the year he was gone came in useful, his report stated he remembered nothing from the time he was kidnapped to the time he showed up in Jack’s office, with the exception of a feeling he had, that Oma had taken on Anubis. “Sam please.” He tried again as he reached out and touched her shoulder.

She promptly shook him off and walked a few paces away before turning to him.  “How could you even look at me Daniel?  How could you even be near me, let alone follow me as your commanding officer after that?  How can you look at me now and not be reminded of what I did to you?”

“It wasn’t you!” he yelled, frustration having momentarily taken control of his temper.

“She was a part of me Daniel, she’s the side of me I keep carefully locked up, but in essence she _is_ me.  She violated your mind and then killed you, yet you are willing to risk a repeat performance and let me rummage around in there for my own selfish needs.”

Daniel walked over to her and took her by the arms and didn’t let her go when she tried to break free.  She didn’t put up much of a fight so he reached out and took her chin in his hand and tiled her head up to look at him.  “It _wasn’t_ you.  She’s dead, you’re here and you need my help.”  He said softly.  “It’s not selfish to take what is freely given Sam.”

Sam struggled to control her emotions.  She knew if she let them reign unchecked she could inadvertently unleash her powers and be sent away, or worse, hurt her friends in the process.  After a moment she said, “I can’t Daniel, I just can’t.  I can’t even believe I tried without thinking about what I was doing.  This is your _mind_ Daniel.  It’s the one place that should be free from violation, free from people messing around in there…  I just _can’t_ ” Sam would have cried if she could, but at the moment she was glad she didn’t have tear ducts.  Instead she lowered her gaze to the floor.

“Sam please.” He begged.  “Take what you need.  I told you, it’s not a violation; I’m inviting you into my mind.  I don’t care what you see in there, anything that I have, everything that I am is yours.  I need you- _we_ need you back with us.”

Sam just shook her head.  “No, but you do need to get out of here.  I’ll tell you what you need to do to activate the door.”

“Sam-“he began but she cut him off with a curt shake of her head.

“Not right now Daniel.  Maybe I’ll get there, get to that point where I’m ok with it.  But right now is not that time.  Let’s just get you back home and we can sort it out later ok?”

Knowing he wasn’t going to get anywhere, he nodded, released her and went over to the panel and pried off the covering.

…………………………………………………………………………..

He was nearly finished when Sam’s hand on his shoulder stilled his actions.

“They’re bringing Teal’c back.  You need to put the panel back together quick.”

Daniel did as she said, but asked as he worked, “Why can’t you just fry them?”

“I’ve tried.  Every time I try I suddenly find myself ‘elsewhere’.“  Sam rolled her eyes at the Ancients and their rules.

“Not naked I presume.”  Daniel tried, hoping to lighten the mood.

It worked.  Sam grinned and shook her head.  “No, though the last time I had a tantrum and unleashed everything in Mother Nature’s toy box on a planet.  An _uninhabited_ planet, thank goodness.”

Daniel smiled and shoved the panel back into the wall.

….

Cam started to squirm around.  Finally he managed to crack his eyes open.  He watched Daniel messing around with the power panel again; though this time he didn’t seem to have been electrocuted… yet.  He was talking to it like Sam talked to her plants.  Maybe it was working for him since he had yet to unleash any expletives in various languages at it.

Cam sat up a bit and grabbed his head.  He hoped that if he held it still, the room would stop swimming, because frankly, it was making him nauseas. 

Cam wondered which one was losing it, him or Daniel when he heard him ask the panel why it couldn’t just fry _them_.  He assumed the ‘them’ was the heavy sounding footsteps he heard coming down the hall.  Then asked the panel if it was.. naked?  Yeah Daniel was definitely the crazy one.

A band of burly goons pointed weapons at them as a few others tossed a bloodied lump that used to resemble Teal’c into the cell, closing the door and walking off.  Guess the rest of the crew could rest a little longer.

After the footsteps faded completely, the lump that was Teal’c got to his feet and stood stoically.  

“How the hell can you even stand up T?”  Cam asked.

Teal’c looked at him and smirked slightly.  “The trick, Mitchell, is to turn into the blows causing more superficial damage.  The more damaged you look and the more damaged you act, the more strength you can save for escape.”

“Huh…” was all Cam said.  He was still holding his head still even though his vision had stopped swimming.

Daniel pried the cover to the panel back off and pulled out the crystal tray.  “How about we get out of here?”  He said.

“And how do you suppose we do that.  The only one that even thinks they know what they’re doing is Vala and she’s still out cold.”  Cam retorted.

Daniel just smiled and crouched next to the panel.

“Just switch the clear crystal with the blue one, it’ll spark so be careful, but the door will open.”  Sam said.

Daniel did as he was told and after a shower of sparks the door opened.  “Alright, let’s go.” He said moving to pick up Vala and ignoring the look of disbelief on Cam’s face.  With Vala across his shoulders he led them from the cell, seeming to know exactly where he was going.  They were nearly free of the complex when Sam touched Daniel’s shoulder causing him to stop and look in her direction.  

“There are three men about ready to come around that corner.”  She warned.  “There’s an armory immediately to your left.  Press then turn the slightly raised serpent symbol.”

Daniel did as he was told and they ducked into the space and the door slid closed just in time.  While the footfalls were passing, they rummaged around for a few zat’s and a couple Gould shock grenades.  Teal’c took over carrying Vala, and Daniel took point.  

The rest of the escape was uneventful.  The group was able to slip out unnoticed and set a brisk pace through the woods towards the gate.  Daniel zat’d a guard at the end of the path and Teal’c lobbed a shock grenade quite a fair distance into the center of the group guarding the gate.  After all the guards had slumped to the ground they took off at a run to the gate.  Just as they reached the DHD an alarm sounded and radio’s held by the comatose guards crackled to life alerting them of the escape attempt and calls for response.

The gate activated and they stepped through to the beta site.  As soon as they exited the wormhole they dropped their weapons and surrendered to the inspection of the armed guards.

“Lost your GDO’s again SG-1?” Colonel Mathews half joked pushing his way through the SF’s.

“Yessir.” Cam slurred.

“As you can see we’ve been better, and a few of us could use an extended stay in the infirmary.”  Daniel said gesturing to his teammates.

“Well then, I’ll let the good General debrief you and send you on your way.”

SG-1 moved aside as Colonel Mathews dialed the gate and sent a radio signal through alerting the SGC that SG-1 would be coming through with casualties.  “Good luck SG-1.”

Daniel nodded his thanks and Cam slurred something incoherent in response as well.

“’Till next time.” Colonel Mathews said drolly, just as Teal’c stepped through the rippling pool before him.

……………

“Welcome back SG-1.”  Landry said.  “Looks like you all could use a little TLC in the infirmary.”  Just then a medical team came through with a stretcher on which Teal’c laid Vala.  “Except you Dr. Jackson.”  Landry continued.  “You are looking remarkably well compared to the rest of your team.  Manage to stay on someone’s good side this time?”

“In a manner of speaking.” Daniel said with a small grin and a glance to his left at a beaming Sam.

Taking the look to be a longing toward the exit Landry dismissed them.  “We’ll schedule the briefing after Lam’s had a look at you.  Dismissed.”

 


	11. Chapter 11

**Yay, other than an epilogue, this is it.  Thanks for hanging in there!**

** ……………………………………. **

** Chapter 10: **

He loved that she was tangible again, even if he was the only one to feel it.  They had always been comfortable in each other’s spaces, close enough to touch, leaning over each other, even from his first week back on Earth.  He had never had that kind of comfort level with anyone, it usually took time for him to be comfortable around someone and never comfortable _that_ close in proximity to anyone he wasn’t having a relationship with.

Now he was staring at the rubbings he had taken with SG-12 weeks before and she was half behind him, her hand on his back as they looked on together.  She was excited at the challenge the puzzle before them presented.  The ‘others’ were blocking her from accessing the universal knowledge she should be able to use to immediately know what they were looking at and its significance.  He could feel it; it flowed through him from where her hand rested on his back.  She was sharing a small part of her without even knowing it, she didn’t have a handle on her abilities yet, and he loved it.  Daniel closed his eyes and let those feelings she was projecting flow through him, traveling through his entire body like the blood circulating through miles of veins and arteries into every cell of his body.  He didn’t share when he was ascended, he was sure of it; he now wished that he had shown himself to Sam, to have shared with her his soul.  He was sure it would have left an imprint that even Oma couldn’t have erased.  Now to feel this little part of her was… overwhelming would be the only word for it.  Overwhelming in a good way.  As much as he’d like to, he wouldn’t ask her to share, but any part she gave to him he’d gladly take.

“I think I see a pattern here.”  Sam said removing her hand from Daniel’s shoulder and moving to the other side of the desk to get a new angle.

The loss of her touch, the loss of the mini-share left him feeling void of something essential.

“Daniel?” she asked with a concerned look on her face.  He looked up and she noticed the spark seemed to have left his eyes.  “What’s wrong?  You look like your dog just died.”

He looked back to the rubbing in front of him hoping it’d help hide his emotions.  He decided aversion was the best course of action.  “I thought so too.”  He replied to her earlier comment about a pattern emerging from the rubbings.  “In fact if you look at it this way…” he trailed off as he shuffled the papers around to a new configuration, overlapping a few.

  
“Daniel!  Don’t side step the question.”  Sam moved over next to him and placed a hand on his arm.

Daniel could feel her concern for him coupled with a deep desire to never see him sad or hurt.  He gave her a small smile and said, “You remember how you told me the more...ah… personal aspects of your encounter with Orlin the first time?”

Sam nodded.

“When the ‘sharing’ stopped how did you feel?”

Sam was puzzled by the question but answered it none the less.  “Void, I guess.  For a few moments I missed the contact, but it faded pretty quickly.  Why?”

Daniel couldn’t help but let his smile grow a little before ducking his head and answering.  “That’s what was wrong.  You don’t have control over your abilities yet, you were sharing your excitement over the rubbings and I could feel what you were feeling.”  Sam’s eyes widened and he could now feel anxiety and a little panic flowing from her now.  He looked up at her.  “Don’t worry; you weren’t sharing everything just that little bit, kind of like you’re sharing your anxiety over it now.”

At that she pulled away from him like she had been burned.  Sam watched the depressed like look washing over him at the loss of the contact, but she knew it wouldn’t last long.  “Sorry. I uh… I didn’t know what I was doing.”  It could have been her imagination but she could swear that she felt her cheeks and ears grow hot.

“It’s fine Sam.  Why don’t we have another look at it this way?”  He said gesturing to the rubbings.

She took a look and started to see something.  She gazed at it intently for several long moments.

Daniel however was gazing at her.  He loved her.  He knew he had for a long time and had always been able to shove aside his feelings, at least for the most part, but now he couldn’t hide anymore.  He wanted her back and he wanted her to know just how much she meant to him.  He had no idea if she could only show herself to him because he was a former ascended and that still carried some sort of significance with the ‘others’ or if maybe, just maybe it was because she might have felt something more than friendship toward him.  He had felt a deeper connection and thought he had seen a reciprocating love in her eyes a few times, but was always afraid it was a figment of his imagination and to tease out if she felt anything more for him could cost him their friendship.  After losing her to Nevada, he had not been willing to risk _anything_ that would drive her away from him again.  However, he needed her to know, he needed to risk it, if only for his own sanity.  He needed to convince her to descend first though, that way she couldn’t just disappear to unknown reaches of the universe.

Daniel laid a hand on her arm.  Sam’s head shot up at the contact.

“Sam.” Daniel said softly.  “Come back.  I know you’re afraid of crossing certain boundaries, but I’m not.  I’d give my life for you in a second; the least I can give is free reign of my mind.”

“Daniel,” Sam said a little choked.  She broke eye contact and glanced over at the desk.  That’s when she saw it, the pattern they were looking for.  Her eyes widened and he could feel a rush of excitement from her.  He took that to mean acceptance and smiled.  “Daniel look!”  Sam said, breaking his train of thought.  She pointed to the rubbings.  “There!  The pattern it’s a gate address.”

Daniel pulled away and leaned over the papers not seeing what she was seeing.

“Right there.” Sam said and began tracing parts of the runes.

“Dakara.  That’s the gate address for Dakara!” Daniel exclaimed getting excited as well.

Just then his phone rang.  “Jackson.” He said answering.  “Ok, I’ll be right there.”

Sam looked at him.

“I’m needed in the infirmary, they didn’t say why, but it might be Vala.  Don’t go anywhere ok?”  He pleaded.

Sam nodded and looked back at the rubbings, renewed energy for the thrill of the riddle in front of her.

………………………………………………………………………………………………..

Cam had been on his way to get Daniel to come with him to the infirmary to spring Vala.  Vala’s concussion was mild, but she had been very anemic so once knocked out, stayed out until they got enough iron infused into her system.  Now she was awake and driving the infirmary personnel crazy.

Cam came to a halt at the door to the Archeology lab where Daniel was working.  He was about to holler out when he noticed Daniel was deep in conversation with an invisible source.  He watched as he tried to explain the rubbings and thought that maybe he was just talking to himself until he faced the wall and reached out as if touching someone.  When he heard Daniel call the invisible presence ‘Sam’, he decided he needed a medical opinion before he called him on it.  So instead of asking Daniel to come along, he headed down to the infirmary alone to meet the rest of his team and Dr. Lam.

……………

  
“So can I get out of here now?” Vala asked impatiently as Cam entered.

“As long as you take it easy for a few days, no missions, no ball games, just rest and relax, and _make sure you take your iron_.” Dr Lam said, knowing that 99% of her patients around here tended to let themselves go in order to work.  She had never seen such a bunch of workaholic overachievers in her life.

“I will, I will.  I’ll just have to get one of the boys to take me home and dote on me,” Vala said winking in Cam’s direction.

“Actually…” Cam began, his teammates automatically picking up on something wrong in the tone of his voice.  “I think we need to drag Jackson in here for a checkup.”  He looked at Vala, “I think you’re right, he’s losing it.”

“What do you mean?” Lam asked “Other than some recently healed wounds, which I’m still trying to figure out, he seemed fine earlier.”

Vala piped up, “Daniel’s been acting a little strange ever since Colonel Carter… died.  He’s been acting a bit schizophrenic if you ask me.”

Cam looked at her slightly bug eyed at her choice of Earth psychosis.

“What? “  She asked him.  “I happen to know about many different mental disorders from my research before my own mental examination.”

“What’s your evidence?” Lam asked.

“Well, he seems to think Carter visits him in his sleep.” Cam said. “He thinks she ascended and when we were in the cell he was talking to the control panel he was trying to rig to get the door open.  I didn’t think much of it at the time considering my bell hand been rung pretty hard.  But, I just saw him having an animated discussion with thin air, even going so far as to reach out like he was touching something.”

Lam looked pretty disturbed.  “He could be having a breakdown.  We’ll need to get him in here and have him checked back out.”

“There could be another explanation.”  Teal’c offered.  Everyone looked in his direction.  “Perhaps he is not mentally ill.  Perhaps Colonel Carter has ascended and as a former ascended himself DanielJackson is acutely aware of her presence.”

“You don’t’ really believe that do you Teal’c?” Vala asked.

Teal’c thought for a moment.  “There are merely a number of coincidences that cannot be explained.  For instance, we know DanielJackson was also _interrogated_ during capture, yet he only shows evidence of recent healing.  Also, DanielJackson has never before had the aptitude for electronics that he demonstrated in captivity and the precognition he showed of the guards coming down the hall.”

“I have a theory about that.” Lam said.  “I’ve been thinking as to how Daniel could appear to have healed so rapidly.  In times of extreme stress, such as the loss of a loved one, the brain can go haywire, causing among other things, psychosis.  Since we know that Daniel likely has Ancient knowledge trapped within his mind, it stands to reason that he may be subconsciously tapping into that as a result of screwed up brain chemistry, to put it simply.”

“So you’re saying that all of this may just be an expression of Jackson’s latent abilities.”  Cam asked Lam.

“Pretty much.” She responded.  “It may be that he’s conjuring up the image of Colonel Carter to rationalize his abilities.”

Vala bobbed her head indicating that may be a likely scenario.

“Perhaps.”  Teal’c said.

Cam looked at him.  “Do you really think Carter could have ascended, and if she did, why hasn’t she descended or talked to anyone else?  I know Jackson revealed himself to both you and General O’Neill when he was ascended.”

“I do not know ColonelMitchell.  But I do know that until we have proof otherwise, it is all conjecture.  I for one wish to believe DanielJackson until it can be proven otherwise.”

“I can run an MRI and ECG to see if his brain patterns have been altered, if so, it could prove my theory, if not, maybe we can ask him for proof of Carter’s existence.”  Lam said.

Cam picked up the phone on the wall and hit Daniel’s extension.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

“Hey guys.” Daniel said cheerfully.  He looked at Vala, “You look better, we here to spring you?  Because I have something you all need to see.  You know that reference SG-12 found to the Arc of the Covenant?”  He didn’t wait for anyone to nod before barreling on with his theories.  “…I think it’s…”

“Jackson.”  Cam interrupted.  “We called you down here for a couple of tests.”

Daniel looked at him perplexed, suddenly very aware of the mood in the room and getting an uneasy feeling.  “Why?  What’s going on?”

“I’d like to run an MRI on you and maybe an ECG while we’re at it to look at your brain patterns.”  Lam informed him.

“Again, why?” Daniel said getting annoyed.

“Because we think you’ve lost it.” Vala supplied.

Daniel sent a small glare in her direction.  “Guy’s what is this all about?”

“You’ve demonstrated some unique abilities in the past few days, like the unnatural ability to heal.  I think it may be that you are accessing latent ancient knowledge, and I’d like to do an MRI to confirm that.”  Lam tried.  She was hoping he’d relax a little and submit to the tests if they thought there was a scientific need and not that he was, as Vala put it, ‘losing it’.

“Uhhh…. I really don’t think it’s going to show anything unusual.”  Daniel wasn’t exactly sure how to talk himself out of this yet.  Sam suddenly appeared by his side with a concerned look on her face.  He cast a quick glance in her direction.

“Well then, how do you explain your new found abilities, or the fact that you seem to think Colonel Carter is haunting you.”  Vala said crossing her arms defiantly.  So she was being slightly petulant, she still wasn’t up to snuff and really didn’t want to go three rounds with him and his silver tongue at the moment.  He needed to be tested so they could fix him and life could get somewhat back to normal.  She finally found a home and people who were family and she didn’t like to see it unraveling before her eyes.

“Haunting?”  Sam scoffed.  

Daniel tried to ignore her presence for the moment.  His team already thought he was crazy.  But then again, maybe if he explained the situation…

Daniel took a deep breath and released a pent up sigh.  “Sam ascended, or at least partially.  I don’t know why I’m the only one she could communicate with.  Maybe it has something to do with my prior ascension, I don’t know.”

“Ok then, if she’s here among us, tell us something only Samantha would know.  How about which spa package we had picked out for our last spa date.”  Vala demanded crossing her arms over her chest.

Daniel shot a furtive glance at Sam who opened her mouth as to speak but didn’t.  She tried again but yet couldn’t make a sound.  She looked at Daniel, “I can’t.  The other’s won’t permit it.  I can talk to you but not through you.”

Daniel looked at her a moment then hung his head in resignation.  “She can’t.” he murmured, and then lifted his head.  “The other’s won’t let her.”

  
“Convenient.” Vala said not quite under her breath.  Daniel again glared in her direction and she held up her hand in mock surrender.  “Hey, I want her back too.  I truly wish I could believe that she’s still here among us, it might take the sting of her death down a notch.”  Vala looked at him with a sad expression.  “But the reality of it is Daniel, she’s gone, she’s not out there and she can’t come back.”

Daniel licked his lips then bit his bottom lip in frustration before saying, “That’s where you’re wrong.  She can come back, she just won’t.”

“Why not?” Cam asked.

“It’s complicated.” Daniel replied not wanting to get into semi-ascension and being impaled by Sam’s replicator double over the same information _his_ Sam needs.  He looked at Lam.  “Tell me this; is it not possible for someone to ascend _without_ help from another Ascended being?”

“Well I’m no expert.” She replied.  “But, it does take a spiritual and evolutionary minimum doesn’t it?”

“Yes, and weren’t you the one who wanted to study Sam’s new found Kel’No’Ream abilities?”

“I do, and I’d also like to study yours if you’ll just agree to the tests.  What would the harm be in finding out?”

Daniel didn’t reply to that.  Maybe he was afraid that Sam’s death did cause his locked up Ancient abilities to come to the fore.  If that was the reason then Sam didn’t really exist and he just couldn’t accept that.

“No.  I’m sorry, but it’s like Michello’s Gould killing slugs all over again.  I won’t be locked up in another padded room.”  He said with a defiant glare at his team.  He turned and left the room, heading back to his office.

..

“I think he’s afraid Lam might be right.” Vala said sadly.

“Indeed.  Though I am still inclined to side with DanielJackson at this time.  I alone am witness to how far ColonelCarter was able to come in all those years on the Odyssey.”

“That was 50 plus years worth of meditation though Teal’c.”  Mitchell observed.

Teal’c just bowed his head slightly in agreement.

“I’m going to make it an order that he gets those tests done.  I don’t want to have him arrested to do it either, he’s been through enough.”  Lam said then looked at Cam.  “Do you think you can convince him to come in willingly?”

Cam just shook his head in defeat.  “Probably not, but I’ll try.”  He made to leave but Lam stopped him and went to a cabinet and pulled out a pen injector.

“If you can’t, sedate him.”  She said handing over the pen.  Teal’c looked at her in disapproval.  “I don’t like it either, but it’s for his own good.”

Cam just nodded, silently vowing to pull a ‘Jackson’ and use his powers of persuasion to come to a peaceful resolution.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

Teal’c and Vala had followed Cam to Daniel’s office.  He hadn’t even bothered to close his door and stood there animatedly arguing with the air.

“Sam, I know you are afraid, but you’re nothing like her, you’re not going to become like the Replicator.  Just take what you need.  _Please._ ” He pleaded.

The other 3/4ths of the current team stood in the doorway transfixed.

Sam said nothing but he saw her hesitation and the internal battle behind her eyes.  

Daniel took a step close and rested his hands on her shoulders.  “Sam.” He said softly.  “Please.  I need you.  I can’t live without you… I love you.”

…

Standing in the doorway Cam broke the promise he had just made and reached into his pocket for the sedative.  He just couldn’t take Daniel’s heartbreak.  He glanced over at Vala who had tears pooling in her eyes, one threatening to spill over.  She may have been angry over her family falling apart, but it was heart wrenching to see just how far Daniel had fallen with Sam’s death.  The tear tumbled over her lid to stream down her face.

Cam popped the top off the pen and moved to take a step forward when a bright light pierced the gloom.  So bright was it that they had to turn their heads against the pain it caused their eyes.

…………….

“I love you.” Daniel said.  One hand slid up her neck to cup the side of her face.  She looked stunned.  He leaned in and the moment their lips touched their world exploded in a bright light as she wrapped her soul around him, fusing hers to his in the most complete way, in a ‘share’.

 

In a moment of Earth time, 10 years passed in a rapid procession of moments, memories and dreams like a whirlwind in their minds.  From that first meeting on Abydos that sparked mutual admiration and attraction in them both, to being overly concerned for each other’s welfare for strictly teammates and/or friends on various missions and their aftermath, to radiation poisoning and ascension , to descention and awkward questions, to romances and engagements, to jealousy over flirtations, to some heavy flirtation of their own.  Friendship, companionship, love and even something deeper, their world coalesced into something more profound… twin souls, rare even among the universe, a perfect pairing, a perfect understanding of the other at the highest levels.

Sam was able to contact Daniel not because of Ancient interference, not because of prior ascension, purely because she was already a part of him, and he a part of her.  Each contained pieces of the other’s soul, even before they ever met, it was a connection made before birth.  They both felt it, the moment they first laid eyes on each other, pieces of their beings slipping perfectly into place in the other’s presence.  It was something Sam had embraced with a wide smile at least at first, something Daniel awkwardly tried to shrug off as he was already married.  It was something that became harder and harder for him as time wore on, as they became closer.  Being near her turned into an addiction of sorts, something even ascension couldn’t cure, something that he was painfully aware of when she was in Nevada.

Like yin and yang they complimented and contradicted each other, fulfilling what the other lacked, challenging each other yet understanding each other.  Theirs was a dance eternal.  With each other they were complete, without they searched for the missing piece of their souls, hoping to find it in their respective fields.

Daniel had released the store ancient knowledge, their souls being completely immersed as a whole, Sam absorbed the knowledge she needed.  After a moment more, they began to withdraw from each other, once again becoming two parts to their unique puzzle.

As the light subsided, Sam stood before him looking into his eyes, a being of warm flesh and flowing blood.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………

As the blinding light faded, the three in the door way looked back into the room only to have their jaws proverbially hit the floor.  There in front of them was not, as some assumed, an ascended Daniel (Vala and Cam had actually figured he had released his ancient powers and gone back to glow-land), but a living breathing, _naked,_ Samantha Carter.

After a moment’s shock, Vala’s stunned expression turned into one of pure joy.  Her jaw found its way off the floor and into a bright smile.  She grabbed Cam’s arm and beamed at him.  The action was enough to snap him out of it and he promptly did an about face, Teal’c followed his motion more sedately, but with a grin of his own none the less.  After a moment of Vala’s continued gawking, he reached over and spun her around.

“Why don’t you go get the lady a change of clothes?” Cam asked Vala.

She only smiled in response and took off running for her quarters for a spare set of BDU’s.  She was a little thinner than Sam, but those things bagged off of everybody so they were sure to fit her.

…

Back in the room Daniel traced his thumb over Sam’s lip and leaned back in for a gentle kiss.  He didn’t need to say it, she knew, in fact words of ‘I love you’ seemed to dull exactly what they felt for each other in their inadequacy. 

After pulling back, he pulled her to him as tightly as possible, almost as if trying to regain the connection they had just shared.  Sam nuzzled into the crook of his neck.  As he ran a hand down her back they both became acutely aware of her lack of clothing.

“Uhh…”  Daniel began slightly awkwardly, then grinned trying to lighten the mood.  “I don’t exactly have a flag for you… but,” he moved away from her and took off his BDU blouse and pulled it around her shoulders.  She slipped her arms into the sleeves and began buttoning it.  It was long enough to fall just past her derriere, but only just.

A moment later Vala burst into the room in spite of strangled protests from Cam at the door.  She leapt at Sam and engulfed her with a hug, half sobbing tears of happiness.  “I’m so glad you’re back.”  To Vala, while she may have felt some competition for Daniel’s affections toward Sam, she was most definitely part of her new family, and now, her family was whole again.

Vala pulled back enough to let Sam breathe and return her smile.  “Just don’t _ever_ die on us again, got it?!”  Sam merely nodded and Vala looked around the room.  “That goes for all of you, understand?”  She didn’t wait for a response before she hugged Daniel and said, “I’m sorry for doubting you.  I shouldn’t have, you’ve never doubted me.  And I’m so very glad you’re not crazy.”

“Me too,” he mumbled and looked over Vala’s shoulder to Sam and smiled at her.

Vala disengaged the hug and grabbed Sam’s hand and began pulling her toward the door.  “Let’s get you checked out so we can all get out of here, I think there’s a bottle of wine with our names on it.”

“Vala MalDoran,” Teal’c said putting a halt to her movements.  “I believe ColonelCarter would appreciate appropriate attire first.”

“Oh!” Vala exclaimed, “I forgot!”  She bent down and pick up the clothing she had brought and subsequently dropped when she couldn’t contain her enthusiasm.  “Here” She handed it to Sam.

Cam took Vala by the arm and led her out saying, “Why don’t we give her a minute to get dress, huh?”  Once in the hall he closed the door to Daniel’s office and allowed a giant grin to spread across his own face.  All was once again right in the world.  The team was back together, the other half of the brains portion of his team restored, Daniel had _finally_ gotten his girl, and they were back to being one big, albeit slightly dysfunctional, family.

 

**A/N: This chapter originally went VERY differently and was M rated.  However, my daughter had wanted to read something that I have written (she’s warming up towards writing a novel for the gifted and talented program at school, she totally kicks my butt at this writing thing) and before this chapter, this was the tamest thing I have written.  I’ll likely post a separate alternate ending sometime, but plan on leaving this story as is.  Epilogue to follow.**


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